We’ve been in Alice almost three weeks now. To be honest, it has been a little harder settling than I thought. Much harder than it was for me to settle into Peru. I think perhaps when I went to Peru I was trying to find a bit of an identity, I didn’t really know what I wanted to do or be and I didn’t like myself or my life that much either. Leaving Sydney this time around was different. I really liked my job, my home and my church. I loved my friends and community. Life was good. Since coming here I have found it hard to feel like me. Away from all the things that I did, my work, my roles at church, my community I am not sure how to define myself. I have felt restless, purposeless.

I am in a better space about all that now though. Tom in an email reminded me that this time is a gift from God and I realise I have a lot to learn from it. I am keen to learn to just be, to define by myself in God rather than all the other things I mentioned. I am reading Luke at the moment with a commentary by Richard Rohr called “The Good news according to Luke”. It is fantastic I love it and it is a real gift to have lots of time in the morning to read, reflect and pray. Anyway he was reflecting on the fact that Jesus always prayed and spent time with God before he “did” anything. It was like he had to receieve from God before he could do. I too must learn to receive from God but I also must learn to receive from people. Particularly in this place, the Indigenous people of this land. If I want to work with them at all I must first spend time with them, learn from them, receive from them. At this time I have nothing to offer at all so I am in the best place to do this. Having this time means I get to sit around a lot with John and Marilyn and their friends, family and kids. I am getting better at this sitting around and I am learning a lot although very slowly. I am beginning to think this it may be the most important thing I do here. Perhaps the only thing of value and so I must cherish it.

It is not necessarily comfortable. As someone who has traditionally offered hospitality and welcome I am now having to ask for it myself. I have yet to make some really good friends and I am asking for help to do so. I feel like a bit of a loser to be honest but over and over in Luke, Jesus tells us to come as a child, as the least, in a position of powerlessness. It is an important lesson for me to learn.

God is with me. He is close to me. He is teaching me and growing me. What more could I ask for?