I’ve been praying a fair bit since we got here, asking God what exactly we are supposed to doing here.  However, a week or so ago I started to get the sense that this wasn’t really the right prayer.  In a time of silence with Martin when we were praying for our new home the word “BE” came to me.  The question isn’t what should we be doing here but how do we be here.  Fully present to the people here, the land here, the spirit of God here.

So as we wait for jobs and more certainty about our future t I have been trying really hard to BE here.  Sometimes I do feel anxious but I keep reminding myself that God is with us and there continues to be so many blessings:

• I have been so much enjoying sitting out on the street around dusk.  As the air cools people move their chairs outside and sit and watch the world go by.  We chat about the day and the heat and whatever comes up.  Nina especially loves the donkeys that pass by or of course the dogs who she still calls Bitta.  If there other children around she attempts to play with them but she’s still entirely sure how to do that.
• I have been enjoying walking up to the “plaza de armas” with Nina.  This is the main square where people often come to meet.  Nina runs around and climbs on things and we inevitably meet with someone we know and have a chat.
•  I have been enjoying offering hospitality to different people.  Mainly Martin’s family with whom we have had a number of late nights now talking over a wine or two.
• I have been engaging with the whole slow food idea.  No food here comes in tins so everything needs to be soaked over night and then made from scratch without the aid of a pasta sauce or curry paste.  And all our water needs to be boiled.  I do still find it a little overwhelming how much thought needs to go into making food but I am starting to get there.
• I have been really valuing time at home with my amazing husband and beautiful daughter.  Sometimes the days seem very long as we don’t always do that much but I am sure there will com e a time when have jobs again and life speeds up as it does that I will long for these days.

I remember writing this back in June when we were making the decision to come and I guess it still remains true, “in the end it’s not really about what we do or don’t do. It’s just about facing the challenge that’s been put in front of us with all that scares me, excites me, thrills me, depresses me and in that trying to love those around us and been open to what they have to offer and what God gives us to offer.”

I have really been getting to know Chulucanas better over the last week. It really is a very beautiful place.  The surrounding area is especially amazing with flowing rivers and stunning views of the Andes.  We just love going into these towns that are still all dirt roads which we share mainly with donkeys and horses and drinking chicha the local drink and chatting to the people who live there.  They are incredibly poor but I think they have the best land and they are almost always so willing to chat with us.

Chulucanas is known as the “Tierra de Mango y Limon” or the land of the mango and lime and we have been enjoying both these fruits daily as they are so cheap.  On the weekend we had the amazing experience of visiting a mango farm.  The land belongs to one of Martin’s cousins and we walked there through rivers.  When we got there we were able to pick up mangos off the ground and just eat them then and there.  It was unbelievable.

Here is Nina and I delighting in the mangos.

We are in our own place finally.  I guess when you spend over 2 months moving around you really appreciate it.  We moved in Monday night and since then we have been running around cleaning, unpacking bags, etc.  Today I got to stick up some photos and pictures that make me finally feel like I am at home.

It’s a big house but it’s got the smallest kitchen ever.  Smaller than our kitchen in Alice if you can believe it’s possible.  Most Australians would consider it fairly basic – concrete floors, cold water (although we are going to put in a heater for our shower), certainly no luxuries such as air con (which I am missing right now, as I write this in the stinking heat, sweating like a pig) and it is in dire need of a paint job.  However compared to the way most Peruvians live it is very luxurious and I think we can be pretty comfortable here.  It has some nice outdoor areas that I like a lot and we have bought a few nice things to help us feel homely.  I am happy.

Nina has been a little unsettled of late.  She doesn’t seem to want me to be more than a few metres from her ever.  It has been somewhat trying and I hope been a steady home will calm her a little too.

The people who are currently in the house haven´t found a place they like yet so we didn´t manage to move into our own place on the weekend.  It really sux.  They have assured us they will be looking hard this week and that the will be able to move in this weekend.  I am really praying they find something.  I am not sure how much longer I can cope with the waiting.  I am trying to let this teach me to be patient and to trust but I am so tired.

So the count down has started. 10 days til we are in our own place in Chulucanas. I hate countdowns as they are not really in the spirit of cherishing the moment and being present to all things but I am really, really looking forward to it. It´s been a really tough first month here.

However there are always little blessings when I am able to be present to the presence of God. Here are some:

Nina has learned how to give kisses. They are lovely.
I have found tofu and mushrooms here and decent wine for a decent price.
I woke up on Christmas morning after not sleeping much. We spent Christmas Eve night at the beach on the most uncomfotable bed with more mossies than you could ever imagine. I looked around and thought this place is a dump (and it was) and it felt rather un-Christmasy. But the spirit was there and reminded me that it was probably more like where Jesus and his family spent his first night than any place I had slept and much more comfortable. And I felt more Christmasy and gave thanks for all I have.
There is a pool around the corner where I can swim.
My kindle and some good books.
Some lovely Skype conversations with mum and Keith and Gem.
Shopping in the market. I used to hate it and Ryan and I had many a discussion about it but now I love it.
Lots of time with Martin and Nina

Nina has been taking some steps. She took her first one just over a week ago now and since then most days she takes one or two but she doesn´t seem to particularly want to take off walking. She prefers to just stand up, clap, then squat down, stand up, clap and then squat down again. That keeps her amused for a minute or so which is as long as anything keeps NIna amused. Anyway, I guess she will walk soon though, in her own time, and then nothing will stop her…..

We are still trying to settle into life here in Peru.  It continues to be pretty tough.  Yesterday I kind of lost it,  I seem to have lost confidence going out on my own.  I keep getting lost in places that should be familiar  and trying to negotiate transport etc etc has proved harder than I remember. It is making me a bit crazy.  However, I´m feeling a bit better today and I´m trying to get over that.

We have moved houses to Martin´s cousin place.  It is more comfortable in that we are now only living with one other person not 4 (one of whom was my mother in law and another a very full on four year old). We are also in a room that has a cupboard so I have been able to unpack some things.  It is also in a quieter area of town so I feel like I have finally got a little headspace.  There is a 25m pool nearby.  We had a visit with Nina which she absolutley loved.  I think she must be missing water too.  I have been running there and doing some laps on a regular basis which really helps me feel good.

The house however does only have a single bed that Martin and I sharing and Nina is on a matress on the floor.  It is also pretty hot so none of us are sleeping that well yet.  It is getting exhausting.  There is also no internet there yet so I am not able to be on that much.  We went to try to get a USB that we can have internet on (what are they called again?) and despite spending literally hours we didn´t really manage to get anywhere.  Maybe we´ll try again soon.   I suppose I better get used to it, that´s life here.

We have decided to move to Chulucanas and rent Martin´s mother´s house from her.  There is someone living there at the moment and we told him that we would wait til he found something.  Should be around 8th of January as that´s when he pays rent each month so he is keen to be out by then.  I am a little nervous about renting from my mother in law because part of the deal is that she stays there about two nights a week.  Two nights is fine but it could turn into more I would imagine.  in the past when we spend lots of time together it hasn´t always gone smoothly.  In saying that we´ve actually been getting on really well and I imagine that having her around to help with Nina may be a blessing.  It´s been pretty hard here without all the support we had in Alice.  I also really like her place and there´s not much else in Chulucanas that I like at all and she really wants us there so it works out all round.

Martin has had some meeting with some people from the municipality who work with farmers.  They have a position they are encouraging him to apply for.  I am trying not to count my chickens before they hatch as jobs can be hard to get but it would be so great if it did work out.  I have also had a job offer teaching English at the private university but it´s full time in Piura so I don´t think that will work out.  The national university said I could work there on the weekends.  While I don´t love the idea of working weekends, as that´s probably when Martin will be around and social thing happen, the money isn´t bad for Piura and it means I would only have to come two days per week and would have the rest of the week to explore other things I want to be involved in.  It would also mean Martin and I can continue to do all Nina´s care with the help of some family hopefully.

So that´s me.  It´s hard but all shall be well I am sure.

It’s been a hard week to say the least.  Martin and I have both been sick, not to mention tired and jet lagged.  Been in someone else’s home is really beginning to take it’s toll but other options haven’t appeared yet.  I am finding Piura a difficult place to be, it’s so hectic and uncomfortable and nothing like I remember.  And I miss everyone so, so much and I have been feeling unsure how I will make it through a year here as well as unsure if it’s right at all. 

However, today we went to Chulucanas.  As soon as we got off the bus I felt like I could breathe again.  We wondered around and met up with family and friends and talked to the municipality about job possibilities.  There isn’t that much and finding a house will be hard but it feels so right there that those things don’t matter.  I trust God.  While waiting is never a comfortable place to be as I look back on my life I know that I can trust Him.  I feel much happier. 

Stopping people from sleeping is a form of torture.

It’s currently 2.45am in the morning and I don’t think I have had any sleep yet.  Turns out Alejandra lives around the corner from a discotech that palays very loud dance music.  I am sure there should be rules about this but not here unfortunately.  This week I have already had two sleepless nights on a plane and a bus I do not need this one too especially seeing as I still have a little one who still wakes up during the night.