As part of my doula course I have to attend two births. Wednesday was my first one. It was long and exhausting but amazing. I feel a bit embarrassed saying this as it is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot but it was a truly humbling experience. When she gave birth I really felt so unworthy to be part of such a sacred experience. I truly wanted to take my shoes off as I was standing on holy ground.

I think women are truly amazing. The way that they sacrifice themselves so totally for their children. Towards the end the birthing woman was completely exhausted and she found that by lying down she could reduce the intensity of the contractions as well as get a much needed rest. However, reducing the intensity of the contractions means slowing the birth down. She knew she had to stand up but nothing in her wanted to this at all. However she did it. Watching her pull herself up and brace against the pain was one of the most courageous things I have ever seen.

I still really want to be a doula. While I am conscious that I still have so much to learn I think it fits pretty well with who I am. I am fairly aware of people and I am pretty level headed in very stressful situations. I totally believe in empowering women and ensuring they have the kind of births they want to have. It is also a job that requires one to totally forget themselves and focus on another person. This may not be naturally me but I would like to get better at that. However, I am a little unsure about how much time it will probably end up taking. Time away from my own family. Not to mention the emotional and physical energy requires. Things to think about I suppose.