As we all know there are many different levels of friendship.  I did a quick little google search and found that most people suggest there are four categories of friends.  People have many different names for these levels but basically it goes something like this.

Level 1 friends:  are people you say hello to and maybe stop and chat for awhile if you run into them at the cafe or bar. They’re probably friends of yours on Facebook, but if it weren’t for Facebook, they would have almost no clue what’s going on in your life.

Level 2 friends:  encompass a lot of people like co-workers and others you see and talk to regularly but don’t necessarily get together much. Occasionally, you might have lunch or you might invite them to a big party you’re having, but the expectations of your relationship are low and the interactions are casual.

Category 3 friends:  can get more complicated, because the relationship is deeper, but the expectations often aren’t clear. They’re your go-to friends when you feel like getting a group of people together, or you feel like inviting someone over for dinner.  You spend time together maybe once or twice a month, but there is still at a bit of a distance.

Category 4 friends: understand you.  They get who you are at your core, which means you can completely be yourself around them, without worrying what they will think.  Whenever you feel the urge to see them, they’re thrilled to see you if they possibly can.

While in some ways this notion of having cetgories of friendship is a little bit crass and obviously relationships are far more complicated than this I do find it kind of helpful too.  It perhaps makes me realise why, despite having a number of friends here in Peru, I often feel a bit lonely.  I guess it’s because I have no friends who I would put into category four.  It also makes me feel like it’s okay to share at different levels with different people and have different expectations of different relationships as well as myself in different relationships.  While I do often discount the less intimate levels of friendships I really shouldn’t and I have come to cherish having different types of friendship and I am grateful for all the people in my life.  Truly everyone can’t be an intimate friend and it’s often fun to just get together on a lighter level.

In saying that my closest friends are most definitely one of the things I am most grateful for in my life.  Really, without them I don’t think I would have survived some of the more difficult times in my life.  Throughout my twenties especially my closest friends really supported me to become the kind of person I really wanted to be.  Recently, I have been thinking about that a lot.  Sometimes I struggle to feel like I am making any difference in the world at all.  Perhaps it’s a misguided idea but it’s got me to thinking about who had made a difference in my life and I realise it’s not people with grand ideas who have come into my life to try to make a difference but rather my close friends and family who listen to me and allow me to be who I am warts and all.  Which has in turn lead me to feel like the best way we can change the world is to be a good friend and family member.  Willing to walk with people wherever they go and let them be who they are even the more difficult parts of them.

Currently my friend Emily is visiting Peru from Sweden with her husband Rocky.  Emily and I volunteered together back in 2003.  I met Martin the same night she met Rocky.  We only knew each other for 10 months before I returned to Aus early 2004 but we have stayed in touch ever since.  It has been fairly sporadic especially over the last few years but spending time together over this last month it has not felt like we haven’t seen each other for 8 years.  For me that is another sign of a really good friend.  Someone you cannot see for years and years but when you do it’s like you were never apart.  It has been wonderful to have her here but it’s going to be hard when she leaves.  I was used to not having really intimate friends around to talk to but now I have gotton used to it again I will feel it when she goes.  Lucky my mum will be here 10 days later.  My mum is certainly a very close friend as well.

Thank you God for friendship!!!!