This post going to be about my first memory but I don’t know what it is. I really cannot distinguish between what I remember and what are things I have seen in photos. Also, I have a memory of standing by the blackboard on my first day of school feeling very shy and scared while Gemma was all confident but then I think that maybe it was the other way round. Thus I just don’t trust my memory at all.
I am also totally into the “Power of Now” by Eckart Tolle at the moment and I find all this trying to remember what my first memory was is not at all helping me to stay in the present moment. It just gets me all caught up in head and dwelling on the crappy memories or feeling the bitter sweetness of nostalgia so I don’t really want to keep trying.
It’s somewhat reassuring to know that someone else has trouble distinguishing between the memory of actual events and the memory of a photo. I have that trouble too. Although I am more troubled by the fact I don’t remember more recent things, from like the last five years.
Phone numbers, birthdays I have little trouble with. But actual events that have happened, nope. That’s why photos and videos are so important to me. If I don’t capture the moment, I fear I won’t have any memory of it, and it will cease to have existed. Weird.
Anyway, here’s to the present! The past is important too, but being present in the present is more so!
Hey mil your email doesn’t seem to be working. The last two have got returned to me. Call me tonight around 10:30-11:30pm and we can skype. Jeremy will be around too. xxxooo