I have been sitting on this topic for a long time now.  It really is a very difficult topic to write about.  The word itself comes loaded with so much baggage for many people including me I suppose. It’s not that I don’t think sin should be talked about.  Lately as I become more and more confronted with my own sin I would like to be hearing more conversations about it.  But unfortunately, some how whenever it is talked about people end up being burdened down with guilt which often has the effect of isolating them from God.  But God’s grace is bigger than any sin.  This means it doesn’t isolate us.  I have been moved lately by how God is using my sin to bring me closer to him.  He is using it to bring me closer to others and myself as well as I am humbled by it.  I don’t know why I am surprised by this as there are numerous examples of it in the Bible.  In fact the whole Bible could be seen as the story of redemption, of God’s constant love and forgiveness of people who keep failing.  Of a God who in fact runs out to greet us when we have turned our back on Him and then lifts us up.

Recently, I was traveling to Ecuador to fix up some visa stuff for Nina.  Half the trip we were traveling on a pilgrim route during the month of October when people make pilgrimages to pray to “el senor cautivo de Ayabaca” (a statue of Christ who people believe was created miraculously by angels).  We passed literally hundreds of people making the journey, many of them were carrying crosses.  I was told they make these pilgrims to either pray for a particular need, eg if they or someone in their family is very sick or if they have committed a grave sin that they want forgiveness for.  There is part of me that is deeply moved by this.  By people’s faith and hope and by the fact that people are wishing to redeem themselves of a sin and show they are sorry.  We could perhaps all do with a bit of reflection time on our sin and for most of them I think it does bring them closer to God so it is a good thing.  On the other hand I worry for some it kind of misses the point.  Is not the point of the cross is so we don’t have to do this?  God forgives us unconditionally.  Before we have even sinned we are forgiven.  We do not need to beg and grovel and carry crosses across the desert to gain it.  It is already ours we just need to accept.  Again if that is helpful to the person to help them let go and move on then great but if it is out of some belief that they need to earn God’s love I am saddened by that.

We also present such narrrow definitions of sin.  Definitions that end up presenting God as some kind of dictator who made up a bunch of irrelevant rules just for the hell of it to take away our fun.  We forget to mention that when we sin we hurt ourselves and we hurt others and God, because he loves us so completely, is also hurt when that happens.  The “rules” are to help us live free, fulfilling lives, that don’t take away anyone else’s ability to do the same.  I also think the collective nature of sin is almost always left out in discussions about sin.  We focus so much on personal sins, especially the ones of a sexual nature.  I guess these are obvious black or white, either you are a virgen or you are not.  As opposed to sins of selfishness that have so many shades of grey.

I attended an evangelical church here a few weeks back.  I have had a little to do with this church community and I have always been quite moved by the community spirit of these people so one night when I was feeling the need to attend a church service I went.  The pastor happened to be doing his sermon that night on sin.  When he started I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and wondered if there was a way I could leave without been noticed but as he went on I actually found myself really agreeing with a lot of what he was saying and found it relevant to me personally.  He talked about many of the sins I find myself struggling with.  My struggles to truly love some people in my life, my selfishness, my fear and anxiety when I have so much, my greed and jealously, my judgements, my desires to be popular and recognised and powerful, my hypocrisy, my anger that is often not used productively.  He talked about the impact these things have on the community and how they effect families as well as God.  He also talked about the sexual sins and the sins of gossip but in terms of the hurt it causes to the community as a whole for example men who have children with various lovers.

He started and finished though as I wish to start and finish talking about grace.  The amazing grace of God that allows us to forgive others and ourselves and thus move on from sin to love and full lives.  I am so grateful for this amazing grace.