On Friday I finally supported a woman in birth here in Peru.  There have been three other women who I was supporting but the first two had to go to Piura for a caesarean and the third just didn’t ring so I was starting to feel like it was never going to happen but then it did.  While there were certainly lots and lots of things that I thought were terribly done in the end I think it went about as well as I could have hoped for.  Mainly, the fact the dad was able to attend the whole labour and birth.  It was a battle that is for sure but I think we managed to do it without too much distraction to the birthing woman so that is good.  He was the first male to attend a birth at the Chulucanas hospital and here’s hoping that from now on in it won’t be so hard.

It was a 12 hour birth, about half at home and half in the hospital.  I was there for only about 1 hour of the home part.  It was going well and I was gently encouraging her to stay a bit longer as I knew the hospital part would be awful, but she was getting a bit nervous and keen to go.   When we got there she had to go through the emergency department before she could be admitted which is crazy.  Certainly not a place conducive to birthing but it’s protocol.  While they examined her and made her answer a series of questions about her pregnancy and address details etc which they really should have already had I called one of the midwives who I have contact with to see if we could get the dad in.  I explained he was really keen to be involved and that he had been a really good support to her thus far.  I also really pushed the point that it is really important for bonding with the baby etc for him to be there.  She reluctantly agreed to ask.  She came back and said he could be at the actual birth but would have to wait outside during the rest of the labour as there was another woman in the room as well.  In the meantime they were now wheeling her into maternity.  She asked if she could walk as it was less painful but they insisted she be wheeled.  I asked why given it was less painful for her and better for birthing to which they replied it was the rules.  I let it drop as I had a more important battle to fight on behalf of the father so I suggested he wheel her in and then he just stayed.  When they came to chuck him out we moved some dividers around which gave the other woman plenty of privacy.  Really they should have just been there in the first place, I have no idea why not but then again there were a lot of things I have no idea about.  Later someone else came and tried to chuck him out but I volunteered myself to leave instead.  I waited outside for about an hour and then went back in.  She was now 8cm and was starting to find things pretty hard and so was he so I took over the encouraging words and massage.  He stayed but seemed to need me to do most of the work   The staff seemed to finally notice how much better she was with a us both there so left us alone.

When it cam time to actually birth she had to be moved to a birthing room.  Here in Peru women can still not birth in the positions they choose but have to lie down with their legs up for the doctor.  We were told only one of us could go so of course it was the father.  I waited just outside and after the baby was born they let me go in.  They were stitching her up and the baby was lying on the table all alone while the dad tried to support his partner.  Knowing that babies are born needing contact with their parents and looking for their eyes and I quickly called the father over and told him to pick up his son and look into eyes.  He did that while I went and sat by the mother to offer her encouragement at a hand to squeeze while they stitched her up without any pain relief.

When, finally that was over and she was able to feed her baby with the proud dad cuddled up to her, I left them to bond as a family without interruptions as it should be.  I cannot say I left with same joy as I had left the other births I had been part of.  I was feeling very frustrated about so much of the procedures previously mentioned.  As well as I had been appalled by the treatment given to the other woman there.  She was all alone and kept screaming out with the contractions.  When she did they would all tell her to calm down.  She was an older lady and thus was asked by various different nurses how many children she had.  She would tell them five and then they would say something like, “then you knew it would be like this, calm down”.  I wanted so much to offer her some encouraging words or something but I felt it was important I stay with the woman who I was there to support as well as I truly believe the work of a doula is based upon trust and an on going relationship which I did not have with the woman at all but she was very much on my heart as I left.

I had hoped when I had got here that I would be able to change some of these things.   I no longer think that will happen.   However, I do hope that maybe this birth in which a man attended for the first time in this hospital will set some sort of precedent.  I do hope that maybe some of the midwives saw the positive benefits of some encouraging words and will give it a try.  I guess you never know what happens with the seeds you plant.