She’s a Mil

Today is Pentescost. This is the communion we hadin church. I thought I’d share:

“O Eternal Wisdom,
We praise you and give you thanks,
for, as you revealed yourself of old
in fore and storm and precious law,
so you did not leave your followers comfortless,
but cam upon them
in thunder, wind and flame,
filling them with power,
and making them thirst with longing
to utter your incontainable word.

And now, you have poured out your spirit
upon all flesh
that your sons and daughters may prophesy,
that old and young share a vision
and even the slaves find a voice.
Therefor,
with Elizabeth who prophesied your birth,
Mary who sang for the poor,
Martha who confessed you as the Chrsit,
the women who announced you
risen from the dead,
and with every nameless prophet
who heard your call and inspired your people,
we praise you saying
Holy, holy, holy,
God of power and might
heaven and earth are full of your glory
hosanna in the highest

Blessed in our brother Jesus,
who comes behind the doors we have closed,
and breathes on our fear his fearful peace;
who, on the night he was betrayed,
took bread, gave thanks, broke it, and said:
‘This is my body, which is for you.
Do this in rememberance of me.’

In the same way he took the cup, saying:
‘This cup is the new convenant in my blood.
Do this whenever you drink it,
to remember me.’
We remember Christ’s death;
we procalim Christ’s resurrection;
we await Christ’s coming in glory’

Come now, spirit of intergrity,
of tenderness, judgement and dance;
touch our speechlessness,
kindle out longing,
reach into our silence,
and fire our word with your truth;
that each may hear their own language,
the mighty works of God.”

By Janet Morley, from all my desires.

“You do right in grieving for your sin. However, I advise you to grieve moderately. For you must believe that God’s power to forgive is greater than your power to sin.” Brother Giles

Back in June 2007, I wrote a post about a website called “What is Stephen Harper reading?” Yann Martel, a Canadian author is sending a book to the PM Stephen Harper each fortnight in an effort to encourage his stillness. On the site you can read the letter that accompanies each book. The letters he writes and the descriptions of the book are fantastic. He has such a unique way of looking at things. It is very inspiring. I don’t know if he has succeeded with the PM but he has certainly encouraged my stillness. And one of my first resolutions for this year is to try to be even stiller. Anyway, here is a quote from one of his letters:

“The great thing about reading books is that it makes us better than cats. Cats are said to have nine lives. What is that compared to the girl, boy, man, woman who reads books? A book read is a life added to one’s own. So it takes only nine books to make cats look at you with envy.

And I’m not talking here only of “good” books. Any book—trash to classic—makes us live the life of another person, injects us with the wisdom and folly of their years. When we’ve read the last page of a book, we know more, either in the form of raw knowledge—the name of a gun, perhaps—or in the form of greater understanding. The worth of these vicarious lives is not to be underestimated. There’s nothing sadder—or sometimes more dangerous—than the person who has lived only his or her single, narrow life, unenlightened by the experience, real or invented, of others.”

I am on to do prayers tommorrow.  I haven’t got much written but I found this while looking for inspiration and I liked it.  It is by Noel Davis whose book is of great inspiration and comfort to me. 

 Dear Job

I look beyond the confines of my knowing
Of blame and punishment and the advice of friends
To your lived story of hope.
What does it take to become fully intimate with the Divine
Rather than knowing by hearsay?
I look at you stripped to your spirit
and I shudder.

Listen to your own story with compassion
And risk becoming intimate with its truth unfolding
All its beauty and its shame exposed
As you are awakened to yourself
For the heart of aloneness
There is the adventure and terror of your life transforming.

Yes love’s hand of freedom is fierce
Beyond our most entrenched resistance.
Love brings us to our knees
Broken and spent
Defenceless before God of Love
Who never gives up on us.

Last weekend I went to the “Liberating the Captives” conference.  I have been thinking about some of the stuff that was talked about there a lot this week.  I think I have been feeling quite ambivalent about leaving Australia lately,  I am very happy and comfortable here and I won’t deny I am very keen to have some children but it reminded me that it is the thing that I most want and feel quite called to.  The main speaker was quite involved with some organisations in Peru.  I got his contact details as I would very much like to see what other people are doing in Peru.  Hopefully there will be time when I am there in June. 

Dave Andrews, as always, left me with some stuff to think about.  I will try to reframe from raving about it too much but he told us a version of the serenity prayer which has been going around my head since.  It goes like this:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the people I can not change, Courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it’s me.

Woke up feeling pretty crappy - sort of stressed and up tight and I couldn’t shake it. I tried to read the bible but it annoyed me too so I went searching for a prayer that I wrote a little while ago in some of my old diaries. That was the worst idea that I had as I ended up reading my diary from when I was about 17 and 18. What a total jerk I was. How absolutlety embarassing and made me feel more anxious. So finally I tried some meditation but that didn’t feel good either.

So I made some peppermint tea for Jo and I and went and sat in her room. She was chatting to Jem which I did for a bit and then we decided to do some art. I drew a leunig and it was unbelieveably soothing. We also put on some John Coleman and he always makes me feel like everything is right with the world. After Jo made some very yummy lunch I lay on her floor and read some poems and here is one that I founf by Noel Davis. He like John and Luenig some how manages to make everything feel okay.

Called to be loving reminders for eachother

We need to tell and retell stories in word and deed
that keep reminding us of what we most forget
that our essence is Love
our destiny Divine
and that Love ebbs and flows
from the heart of our being
to the far shores of the universe
when we dare to listen adn to acknowledge
our loving self
to let go into one another and let our fragile lives
be drawn way out of their depth
into the living flow
of You

Called to live among your people
Called to know my poverty
Called to sense the mystery in the ordinary day
Called to live amid the struggle
Called to gently hold the pain
Called to stand in wonder at the sacred in our lives

Give me sight to see the beauty in the ones who are despised
Lord may I see them through your eyes
Give me ears to hear the weeping of those wounded by despair
Lord in the brokeness you’re there
Give me a heart that longs to love, a heart that welcomes those who are alone
Lord in you we are at home

On Monday my laptop got stolen from our home. It was kind of strange as it was the only thing that took. Nothing else just the laptop. I guess it was just really easy and they were in a hurry. It really sux as it was a quite expensive computer. I mean I guess it wasn’t really that expensive if you think about how much computers can cost and that it had probably lost most of its value but it was relatively expensive to us. However Jem and I were talking last night and there are so many other things that happen when some one steals from you that they probably don’t realise but are almost as bad.

Firstly, I have a 3000 word essay tonight of which 1500 was on the computer and I had to start again. Secondly it makes you feel really untrusting. I mean now we have to get all security conscious and keep all the doors locked even if we are in the house (as someone was home when the laptop got stolen) which is so not what you want to be doing in summer. Also it makes you doubt the people that come around and again you don’t want that especially of you want to be a welcoming community. Thirday it can make you kind of angry and given that you can’t take it out on the person who stole from you, you take it out on the others aronud you, which you also don’t really want. Finally it is just a kind of yukky feeling that someone we don’t know was in our home and in our room.

Anyway have been trying to learn as much as I can from this. I am not sure how well I am doing but these are my tryings. I am trying not to totally fall apert about my assessment. It is the sort of thing that can drive me to a total anxiety attack but I have managed to keep it together thus far I am alos trying to continue payer for oour thief. We did on the night that it happened which helped. It reminded me that s/he was human too and also totally and completely loved by God which settled my anger a little. I have also been reflecting on what it means to be a community house after that. It now seems like there is an element of risk to it. That it is not just about fun and games but about reaching out to people even though you may lose your stuff. I really hope that we can do that.

Jemma and I were listening to John Coleman on the way home last night and the song we listened to on our first night here came on. The verse goes like this:

Father through Jesus, our Lord and our brother
We ask you to bless this house
We ask you to keep in your love and your caring
All who enter here

We probably weren’t thinking about the thief at that stage but I hope now that we are that the vision won’t change as I think the loss of that vision would be far sadder than the loss of the laptop.