Nothing to do.

I am at work and I have nothing really to do. I don’t feel good about that as they are paying me. This is the first time that this has happened which is good. I hope it doesn’t happen a lot. I am waiting for lots of phone calls you see and emails and stuff. When people reply I will have something to do.

I don’t have the nicest office at work. There is no window and it is kind of dreary coloured. It is also pretty small. Smallness is not that big a deal to me but I would love a window. I try to get out at lunch time as there is a lovely park across the road and I have enjoyed many a luch break sitting there reading but I don’t always mange. I have decorated it a little though to make it feel homely and add some colour. I have a photo of Martin and I that Jo took when he first got here. He looks very cute. And I also have some pictures from TEAR magazines and a Luenig prayer that goes like this.

“We give thanks for the invention of the handle.
Weithout it there waoulkd be many things we couldnt’ hold on to.
As for the thigns that we can’t hold on to anyway, let us gracefully accept their ungrasable nature and celebrate all things elusive, fleeting and intangible.
They mystify us adn make us us recptive to truth and beauty.
We celebrate and give thanks.

Life if good.

Should be studying, should be getting ready to go to Rough Edges,should be having a rest but I am not doing any of those things I am blogging.

Feeling pretty good at the moment. Work is good, though having to work on Saturdays is a bit sucky. Home is good. Martin is good, now that we have made the first year it is all smooth sailing from here. Wishful thinking I am sure but things are pretty peaceful at the moment. God is good, The weather is good, I really love this time of year, autumn is just so snuggly without being too cold. Uni is good, but I guess that is because we are almost on holidays. The food I ate last night was good.

It really is time to go.

My New Job.

Well there is lots going on in my life at the moment and it is all really good stuff. Things in my new job here at Vinnies are going great. I really like it. My first big task has been to ring up all the volunteers and introduce myself and see how things are going between them and their friends. Most people have been great and have been very open in telling me their stories and sharing their struggles. Some of them I really don’t know how to respond to which makes me feel a little overwhelmed but I think they just like the opprtunity to talk. Some of the issues I can relate to. They are similiar issues that I have dealt with at Rough Edges. Namely feeling like I am not really doing anything and feeling like I will never understand people’s issues.

I have to run a peer support meeting soon and I think I will address the issue of understanding. I want to use a quote from a fantastic book that I just read called “the curious incident of the dog in the night time”. I think that is the name. Anyway I totally reccommend it to anyone it is so good. It is written through the eyes of a little boy with Aspergers Syndrome and it gives one more understanding of the illness than any text book could give. Most of it is specific to Aspergers but some of it can give you a small glimpse into the issues that many people with Mental Illness may have. I will write a section here that I may use which I just love.

“All the other children at my school are stupid. Except I am not meant to call them stupid, even though this is what they are. I’m meant to say that they have learning difficulties or they have special needs. But this is stupid beacuse everyone has learning difficulties beacuse learning to speak French or understading Relativity is difficult, and also everyone has special needs, like Father who has to carry a packet of artificial sweetening tablets around with him to put into his coffee to stop him getting fat, or Mrs Peters who wears a beige coloure hearing aid, or Siobhan who has glasses so thick that they give you headache if you borrow them, and noe of these people are Special Needs, even if they have special needs.

But Siobhan said we have ti use those words becuase people used to call children like the children at school spaz and crip and mong which are nasty words. But that is stupid too because sometimes the children from the school down the road see us in the street when we are getting off the bus and they shout, “Special Needs! Special Needs! Special Needs!” But I don’t take any notice of them because I don’t listen to what other people say and only sticks and stones can break my bones and I have a Swiis Army Knife if they hit me and if I kill them it will be self defence and I won’t go to prison”