Well maybe that is a little over the top but I am noy happy right now.
I have just spent a day at the Chatswood Skin Cancer Clinic which never makes me feel very excited and thrilled about life and people. God I so have to get out of there it is bad for my soul.
But the reason I am most upset is that I was planning to take Monday CLub to see the Sculptures by the Sea on Monday and Andrew Lorien just told me that they are finishing on Sunday. Can you believe it?
I have finished uni for the year.
It feels so good to know I have three months off.
Well it’s 12.15 at night and I am in bed. I can’t sleep so I thought that I would blog. I have not been sleeping all that well lately which is a little bit stressful but I can sleep in, in the morning so that makes me feel a little less uptight about it. I have Monday Club tommorrow and it doesn’t start til 12.30.
I am actually looking forward to Monday Club tommorrow. It has been so good lately. I took a break for a couple of weeks about a month ago and during that time I realised that Monday Club is good for me. At Monday Clube I am totally unable to control anything. I feel inadequate and lost. So why is this good? Well not only is humbling which I often need but it means that I have to fully depend on God. And since realising that everything has been better. Everyone seems to have finally gotton used to the changes that happened when I began to facilitate it 14 months ago so I no longer feel like I should be someone else. They seem to be enjoying it also and getting something out of it. I guess that’s what happens when God is in control and not me.
My marriage is a bit like that too really. Last night we went to Carlos’ birthday party and about 12.00 in typical Peruvian style the speeches start and everyone got really sentimental. It was nice really. Australians so rarely to do that. Anyway we stumbled across the topic of marriage. I don’t know how as we were supposed to be talking about Carlos turning 40 but we did. Anyway I said a couple of things. I said that marriage has taught me that I am actually not that great a person. I am not the patient, kind, understanding human being that I once thought I was and I am actually not able to control everything all the time. Again that is a good thing to learn as it humbles me but also it has helped me understand a little more about God and his grace. Despite all my crappiness Martin still loves me. He knows me better than anyone and he still wants to be with me. That’s like God, despite everything God still loves me.
I found a really cool quote in one of my readers about doubt and teaching.
Does ddoubt make us ‘better’ teachers? I think now that a safer way to put this is that it might make us braver teachers, more risk taking, more modest in our self conception; that we might admit our own doubtm our own difficulty, uncertainty, and error; that we might take ourselves less seriously, while taking education very seriously indeed. I leave it to you to decide if that is another way of saying better.
Well I went and did that visited countries thing which was so fun. I have to say the countries that I have been to are all a bit random really. Anyway I did it and then I manged to like paste some HTML text and up cam the map on my blog. Can you believe it I managed to paste some HTML text. So there it is on my blog but it is not registering on Blogfeed nor does it exist in my list of recent enteries. So I don’t know what’s going on. I so don’t want it to disappear.
Other things that I am confused about are:
Why people, myself included read Womens Day maghazines when they only make us feel bad.
These new anti terrorist laws.
The New Industrial realations laws.
Why people think having sex with disabled people will cure them of HIV/AIDS.
How HIV/AIDS got so out of control anyway.
My Research and Inquiry Assessment.
Why some people have so much and other (the majority) have little.
Why people don’t seem to care about it.
Why university educated people can’t find work so they end up driving taxis.
THESE THINGS ALSO MAKE ME ANGRY.
I received my second New Internationalist magazine yesterday. I was so excited to get it. It is like a little present every month, it’s so fun. Anyway I was reading it last night of course and they refer to the “third world” as the majority world. I think that is a better way to put in than third world or developing world and unfortunately accurate.
I have done some really interesting assessments this semester, a little challenging but good.
The first one that comes to mind was my policy analysis assessment where I analysed the policies of “The Sopranos”. If any of you don’t know by now I am a huge fan of the Sopranos so being able to sit around and watch them over and over and not feel bad because it was for uni was so great. Every time I watched them I just became more and more aware of how tight the script was, they don’t say a word that doesn’t count. It is a little violent at times and they can be so mean but it is essentially a program about families and it is a really interesting look at them.
The second assessment that I found just fascinating was my Spanish presentation where I chose to talk about Liberation Theology. Again most people have probably heard by now that I am also a huge fan of Liberation Theology so it was great to sit around and read about it all day. I am also believe it or not a huge fan of Peru and that is where this theology was started. I don’t really know how to sum it up in a couple of words so I will give you a quote here from Guiterrez himself that describes it. “It is a theology based on the Bible that reveals to us a God that without limits rejects injustice and poverty”. It’s a bit of a dodgy translation but I think you have got the idea. After reading Robert’s blog I thought I should avoid any of the translation things on the net.
Anyway the assessment that I am doing right now is not like these. It is horribly boring and I am finding it hard to stay focused. I guess that is why I have mangaed to read almost all the blogs of the people I know and the people that I don’t and write this fairly long blog post. I am trying to think of more to write to avoid it but I think I have to accept that the time has come to return.
Oh Lord give me strength
In response to my last Jo sent me this. I needed it, I still need it.
Your Spirit Alive in the Laughter of Our Eyes”
Help us to let go
Of all You have forgiven a thousand times
to realise the forgiven exists no longer.
Liberate Your Spirit
from among the shame and guilt
that we have allowed to weigh us down.
Help us to forgive ourselves
And one another
and lighten up our world
to see the love and the laughter in each other’s eyes
the inner joy of forgiveness being realised.