We are two days overdue and still nothing. I am exhausted I have to say. Sleeping is pretty impossible at the moment, I am so uncomfortable. When I wake up in the morning everything aches so much from the struggle. I feel like I have gone ten rounds in a boxing match. I also have so much mucous in my nose and head that it is very hard to breathe. I have started snoring, sometimes I even wake myself up.
I guess though if this journey is teaching me anything it’s to wait patiently in trust and hope. I am trying to do this better.
I’m due to have a baby tomorrow. I really, really hope it comes. I am so over being pregnant and so excited to meet my child.
As said a few posts ago I have been pretty much ignoring the election as it caused me a little too much despair. However, even I could not ignore the result. A hung parliament is very interesting. Not to mention I couldn’t have imagined a better result – the swing towards the Greens was large enough that their issues can no longer be ignored and both the major parties have to hear if nothing else that Australians are not that happy with either of them. I am still of course worried that the Liberals will be able to form with the independents and Tony Abbott will become prime minister but I think more than that I was worried about the political process itself and that the Australian people had become completely unconcerned with anything but themselves and their money and were happy to put up with this fear mongering etc etc. I am heartened that perhaps there are more Australians than I imagined that aren’t.
Last week here was very cold. Still had the heaters going at night and getting out of my warm bed every morning was always such an effort. Then the winds came. You probably couldn’t call them a hurricane or anything but they were pretty full on. Enough to blow the table off our balcony. I can’t stand these winds I have to say but John told me that these winds come every year to chase away the cold. For his people they mark the beginning of spring, which does make more sense than just some some random day. And chase away the cold they did. Last night I even had to put the fan on. It’s kind of strange to go from heater to fan within a week. Then today we’ve had the most lovely sun showers. The sun is warm and making a beautiful soft light through the fluffy clouds and rain. It’s very beautiful.
Despite a photo on facebook that confused a lot of people into thinking I had a baby, I haven’t. It was just a little joke made by Martin. We did get a few laughs out of it I have to say but I think it did get a little out of hand. We even got a call from Sweden which I felt very bad about.
Even though there is no baby we are now definitely ready for one. I think I have mentioned this before but a friend of ours who had a baby three months ago is moving to the US tomorrow. Her husband is American so they are going to live there for awhile. As they were not able to move all their things from here to there we were lucky enough to get a lot of their baby stuff. Bath, crib and so many clothes which we picked up today. Others have also sent us a number of clothes, toys and books and yesterday my grandparents sent us a pram which they picked up from a jumble sale. They spent hours washing it and fixing it up for us and it is very cute. We also managed to pick up a change table from someone at my work and some drawers at one of the second hand shops. This means the only things we have had to buy new and thus spend much money on are the car seat and the cloth nappies. I feel so blessed. We have everything we need plus more for her arrival, without having to have spent hardly anything at all. And the even better thing is almost all of it is second hand.
I have had so much fun today finally being able to embrace all those nesting feelings and set up the nursery. It is so cute. Now all that needs to happen is the birth…..
Just over two weeks to go until my due date although I am seriously hoping it will be before that, I am struggling a lot. I am so uncomfortable all the time and tired and I am going to the toilet what feels like every ten minutes. Especially bad on these freezing cold nights. My back aches and my hands and feet are all swollen and are often tingly. It’s called carpal tunnel syndrome apparently, it’s common enough and no harm to baby or me but fairly unpleasant. I am so looking forward to not being pregnant. I am also so looking forward to meeting the baby and feeding her and holding her and all those things. The waiting is killing me. We saw the midwife yesterday and all is good. Heartbeat is nice and strong and baby is positioned well for birth. Just needs to happen now. Please.
The other thing I am so over is the election. I usually keep myself pretty informed politically and often find it quite interesting but at the moment I have pretty much just shut off. I find it all so depressing. The way they all just attack and attack and attack, it feels like watching the ancient Roman Gladiators and the media feeds off it like vultures. Not to mention I get really down about the fact that on most of the issues that are really important to me the two major parties do not differ overly. I feel like perhaps Labor tried but we still live in a very fearful, materialistic and not very compassionate Australia and they are now bowing down to the very worst in us rather than encouraging the best. The Greens are still trying I guess and there are some great candidates in the party but as a whole I am not convinced they are fully ready to lead the country, not that, that’s a possibility anyway, and they can behave as equally aggressive and bitter. Sometimes I wonder if a benevolent dictatorship really is the way to go and I start to despair about bringing a child into such a world. So I guess I am becoming another fairly uninformed Australian and perhaps I will not use my vote as wisely as I could but for the benefit of my spirit and my soul and the desire to be positive about the world I will be raising my child in, I have tuned out.
It was a busy weekend and I have taken a few days to recover from it I must say. I get very tired pretty easily these days. I am trying to rest up but I am also pretty uncomfortable so sleeping isn’t that easy either. It is almost impossible to find a comfortable position.
Anyway the weekend was great none the less. I have mentioned in a few posts of late the racism that exists in this town and that is true but there are also lots of people trying to do different things about it and on the weekend we participated in a few events. Firstly, we attended a forum put on by the Islamic community in Alice Springs at the mosque. It was titled, “getting to know each other” and there were a few speakers who spoke a bit about Islam and culture etc etc but also just a lot of chatting and “getting to know each other”. The community provided wonderful hospitality and food and we felt very welcomed by them. It was also very informative for me and I learned a lot. I was also really pleased at the diversity of the town who showed up and participated.
We also attended an event in honour of it being 51 years since Albert Namatjira’s death at the cultural centre. There were paintings to look at, choirs singing, people telling their stories as well as we got a sneak preview of a few scenes from the Belvoir play Namitjira that will begin in Sydney in September. If you can you should go and see it. I think it will be excellent. Archie Roach was also there and played some songs. However, the nicest things about it again was the diversity of the community that attended. So often it feels like events in Alice are attended by either white fellas or black fellas. Not this though, there were people there from the entire community. It had a really lovely feel to it.
We’ve had frost in the morning for the last two days. I had to pour water on my windscreen to drive Renee to school. Kind of cool but freezing.
This last week Martin and I are getting in some early practice at parenthood. We are minding our friend’s eight year old foster daughter, Renee for ten days while she is in East Timor. We are having a good time making school lunches, playing card games, reading before bed etc etc. On Monday it was a public holiday here in the Territory. Picnic Day (how cute is that) so we went for a picnic with Renee as well as the neighbours kids and their cousins. Rolls and cakes were eaten, cricket and hide and seek was played. It was good fun.
In saying that it is hard work. She certainly gets restless and makes it known to us. Not to mention I was sick one day and just wanted to stay in bed but had that realisation I couldn’t as I was responsible for another human being. Welcome to motherhood I suppose.