Life is a funny thing. Last week I was posting about how awful it was in Alice Springs at the moment but this last week has been very blessed. With tops of about 32 and lows of 18 it’s been truly delightful to be outdoors again during the day and snuggling up with a blanket at night. Not normal for this time of year at all.
I have also had some unexpected news on the job front. After the interviews I was feeling pretty confident about the teaching job. One of the people interviewing me practically offered me the job and was talking to me like I had it saying things like, “you will sit here” etc. The shelter job I enjoyed the interview but was feeling less confident. I knew they needed people but they were interviewing lots of people too so was unsure. On Tuesday the teaching job called to say I didn’t get the job. There was part of me that was kind of relieved I hadn’t particularly wanted it but it felt pretty awful. I felt a bit silly for assuming I had it, I felt a bit worried as I wasn’t sure I’d get the other one and I also just hate the feeling of rejection. Thankfully on Wednesday the shelter called to offer me a job so pretty quickly felt less worried and a bit better. This outcome was not what I expected but I am pretty happy about it. Now I don’t have to make a choice between the two and really feel working at the shelter is good fit for me right now.
I have also been teaching this week with Batchelor again. I was pretty anxious about it but it turned out to be a lovely week of teaching and really restoring for me. I had been feeling like I really didn’t like teaching and was terrible at it for a few months so it was good to have a positive experience. I also was pretty burnt by the organisation but it was actually lovely to be there in that environment. Then my old boss offered me a two day per week job. Nothing confirmed and I think I would still find working with her very challenging but the job itself sounds like a good fit for me and two days isn’t a lot of time and it means I could do it and work at the shelter as well. It feels like a good opportunity to keep my foot in the door there while I work out what I really want to be doing. Not sure what I will do but I feel blessed to have some options. Nothing starts until April when I return so I have time to sit with it.
Life is a constant reminder to me that we don’t ever really know what will happen but I do feel God’s presence very strongly with me in all this.
There are times in Alice Springs when everything is so divine I wonder why the entire world doesn’t want to live here. This has not been one of those weeks. In fact this week reminds me why in fact only very few do. While it has been hotter, the humidity is making 37 degrees unbearable, with the desert winds blowing dust everywhere and unsettling us all. If that weren’t enough to keep us inside the flies on there own sure would and the ants that make it impossible to stand still anywhere. Bring on March I say. Off to Israel and by the time we are back it’ll be almost April when the weather is almost perfection.
I am a really bad decision maker. I get so anxious about it which is bad seeing as how often in life we have to make decisions. In my last post I was talking about how much I angsted about making the decision to go to Israel. This week I am angsting about my work. On Monday I had an interview with the women’s shelter and the tomorrow I have an interview for a literacy teaching job with STEPS. I found out on Thursday about these and and I cannot make a decision about what I want to do. I know I don’t have the jobs yet but preliminary discussions were overwhelmingly positive so I thought I better make a decision in case I do get offered both. They are both part time and fit really well for me. Truth is I think I would rather take the shelter job. I am so not feeling like teaching right now after the previous six months I am feeling a bit burnt by teaching literacy in this context. On the other hand this is a much nicer job than the last one and I have this sense maybe I shouldn’t just stop teaching after this one crappy experience. Of course I could go back at another stage but it does get harder. I have been praying lots, reading things to give me guidance and talking to wise people but every moment I feel something different. I am going with just see what doors open and close but thus far all doors just keep opening. What would you do if you were me?
I can’t really believe I am writing this but I am going to Israel. Mum mentioned about 2 weeks back that she might use some of her frequent flyer points to go and visit Gem and that she could lend me some. It was totally out of the blue, I had never even thought about it, but now here I am two weeks later with flights booked for March 6 til March 27. It has been such a spontaneous decision for both us, which is quite out of character but we are as you can imagine very excited.
I have angsted a lot over the decision to go. Three weeks is a really long time away from Nina. She will be fine with Martin of course but I worry that she will feel worried about me being away and not coming back. More importantly though I will just miss her desperately. It’s also not the best timing as I don’t have a job and thus not much money so big overseas trips does feel a little bit crazy. It feels like I am asking a lot of Martin. He has been very generous in encouraging me to go but I realise I am not very good at accepting such generosity from him and my mother for that matter. I’ve never travelled like this before. I’ve only ever gone to Peru to for long stretches of time firstly to volunteer and then to visit family. I did travel a bit on the way to other places and while I was there in Peru but this feels totally different. But in my quiet times I really felt I should learn to accept generosity and abundance, it teaches us a lot about grace. I also wanted to make a decision based on courage not fear so I decided to go.
I have been lying awake at night worrying a little but I am really going to try not to do that and just feel really excited. I simply can’t believe I will be visiting the Holy Land and will be seeing Gem as well and learning so much about this country. Looking at pictures today it sure looks like an amazing place. Also, really excited to be doing a bit of travel with my mum and Gem. We never did anything like this as kids so I think it’s going to be a special time.