I am continuing to try to foster an attitude of gratefulness and I am doing pretty well really but maybe that is because I really do have a lot to be grateful for.
Nina and I had a lovely little trip to Tamworth. We went up on the train. It was a fair bit of work with all the things I had but I got some help from Jenny who kindly picked us up and helped us carry everything on to the platform and I also got some help from some guys at the other end who helped me get it all off. I really have started to value those people who offer help to mother’s trying to get kids and stuff on and off trains, upstairs etc. It was also a fair bit of work keeping Nina entertained but with food, a little sleep and lots of Ipad lent to us by Jane we got there. In Tamworth we caught up with family and Nina was very open to everyone especially her Poppy who she was very excited to see. Dad drove us home via Foster where we spent a night with my auntie who is living on an amazing property there with her partner. Now I am grateful to be home safe and sound with Martin again. Caring for Nina is also much easier with him around.
I also unbelievably have got a job. It is just a 6 month contract at this stage as the program is only funded until June but hopefully they will continue funding and if not if I will at least have my foot in the door for naything else that comes up. I am working with an Indigenous Tertiary Institute that I really wanted a job with. It will be three days a week, in town, using Ipads to teach literacy to young women from town camps. It is going to be full on and I am very nervous about it but excited too. I know I will probably suck for awhile and that is always a pretty overwhelming time but this is what I want to be doing so I have to start at some time so I am very grateful.
Today, I went to the city with my dad, my sister and J, my uncle, my husband and as always gorgeous daughter. We had lunch in China town then meandered down to Darling Harbour for a play in the park and fountains. It was a very Sydney day and I felt blessed to be here and with my family with all their rough edges as we would say.
One of my big worries about coming back to Australia was Nina. I was thinking she may find it difficult and I was expecting that she would be a little bit unsettled by the move. I had prepared myself for more tantrums, unsettled sleep and a very clingy child. I was certainly worried for nothing. She has been sleeping great, all through the night and back to hour naps each day often more. I don’t think she’s chucked a tantrum since we got here (miracle) and not clingy either. In fact I have watched her play happily with Jane and Gem and other children. Jane even picks her up. This astounded me as she has never let anyone pick her up. Today we were waiting in line at the cash register and Nina was sitting calmly in the stroller holding her new swimmers. Another mother looks at her while her kids grab at everything and says, “my kids would never do that, she’s amazing.” I realised just a month ago I was saying the exact same thing. I don’t really no why but it seems the move has had the total opposite effect to what I was expecting. I am very grateful. It sure makes this all a lot easier.
I also got a call from a job I applied for and they offered me an interview in January. I am not 100% sure I want this job or that I will even get it but I am very grateful to have an interview at least. Possibility is sure better than nothing.
I am very grateful to be staying at Jane and John’s house. It is such a beautiful place and looking out over the trees in every direction is very calming. They have also been very gracious listening to me talk endlessly about all that I am struggling with right now. I am sure I sound like a broken record but they never make me feel like that. And I sure am becoming more and more at peace as I talk it through and they share their stories.
I am reading Anne Lamott again. I think I pick her up every time I come here but I always find her comforting. I think everyone says this and I guess this is her gift but she reminds me so much of myself and can relate to almost everything she says. It is very comforting to not realise how universal our struggles really are so I am grateful for Anne Lamott. And today I even realised I could listen to Anne Lamott on my Iphone at the gym. Yes I have one now, I inherited Martin’s old one when he got a new one. I am actually quite enjoying it and was very grateful today when I realised I could listen to Anne and many other people I like while at the gym. It sure makes the time go faster.
We’ve arrived. Although it’s been five days now so that is not really news.
It was a long trip. Nina got sick in Buenos Aires so we had to take her to a doctor and missed our flight. It was pretty stressful but the airline cared for us very well by not only changing our flights at no cost but also putting us up at a hotel with breakfast, lunch and dinner included so I can’t really complain. We ended up having a lovely little two day holiday wandering the colourful streets of Buenos Aires and stopping at lots of paks. Travelling with a two year old takes you to places you would not have previously gone to. We also had the best seats, on the plane and Nina slept about 5 hours and when she was awake the people around us were pretty nice about her running up and down the aisles with another little girl.
Jeremy met us at the airport which was friendly until Gem arrived with the car. Then we got a typical Sydney welcome by waiting in traffic for a long time.
I wouldn’t say it’s been the smoothest adjustment. I am still feeling pretty sad about leaving and missing Chulu a lot. I guess the disappointment still lingers too and I find the excess of our culture pretty overwhleming. But it’s lovely to be at Jane’s. It’s a beautiful place and it’s good for my soul. We have also had lots of visitors too and I so value and cherish all the friends that have come and the conversations we havd shared over cups of tea. This is also good for my soul.
Nina is not showing any signs of finding the move difficult. She is sleeping well, eating well and having a ball playing with all the new toys here especially the trampoline. She seems comfortable with most people too so I thank God for that.