New house, New age, New stage.

Well as you can see from the title there are lots of new things oing on in my life.

Priamrily the new house. I have sadly left the French’s and happily moved into my new room back at my mum’s house. It is a great room and I am really looking forward to living here for a long strecth of time. Packing my bag on Saturday with all the stuff I had while I was at the Frenches made me feel very nostalgic though. I think I have packed and unpacked that bag thosands of times and I am going to miss it really. But it’s cool Mexico in five years so I have that to look forward to and hopefully Martin adn I will be able to make a quick trip to Peru at the end of next of year.

Secondly I am a new age. Yes I am the big 22 now. Well I don’t think it is really that big but you know it is a litle bigger. I had a wonderful birthday thanks to all the wonderful who made it down to Manly to eat pizza with me and my family. The best thing about it I think was that I did not smoke and I still had a great time. I really wanted to and for a little while there is was prett heavy going and I nearly caved but in the end I didn’t. Yay it has been six weeks now. Ia m happy.

Finally a new stage of life is going to be entered in terms of uni. I have finishd first semester and I will be happy to be starting the second semester as a full time student. Yay no more geting up 7.00 in the morning everyday. I mean I still have to work two days a week at the Chatswood Skin Cancer Clinic but two days a week is okay. Everyday is so hard. Especially in this cold weather. God this mornign was unbearable I wanted to cry it was so cold. I miss Piura, it never gets cold there.

If feels good to have blogged. it’s a shame that I have been so slack. I guess because I am not studying now I don’t spend as much time looking for something to do t procrastinate.

I’m blogging from a different location

This is the first time I have blogged somewhere that is not the Frenches. I am blogging from my mums house. I am still calling it my mum’s house, it will be nice when I can call it my house. I am looking forward to living here as the truth is I have not lived in one house and not moved from it in for more than 9 months in about three years. Moving is good I think but it can be quite exhausting.

I went to church tonight and Rough Edges and I am just dropping off the car to my mum and then I am going home so I shouldn’t be blogging too much. I find church so exhausting to be honest. I guess I go because very occasionally someone says something that speaks to me, something that I go yes I think that is a good thing to say but the majority of the time I find it all really hard to cope with. I feel like I am an intruder, I feel like maybe I am being dishonest because people think that I believe certain things that I dn’t simply because I am there. Sometimes I wis I just believed what eveyone else believed, it would be a lot easier and then I ould fit in. Damn peer pressure, iimagine those Happy Healthy Harold buses with them talking about how to fit in with Christians and not smoking.

Thank God for Streetwise, where everyone fits in.

Sex, Drugs and Lesbians.

No I am not really going to write about that, it could all get a little controversial and personal and as much as I would like to be I ma not really ready for that yet. It’s more a socail experiement. It seems the more that you have those words on your blog the more people seem to read them and I want to see if that is true.

And what better way to spend a morning that I have taken off work than writing Sex, Drugs adn Lesbians.

What am I to do?

I sent off my last assessment for the semester today, it felt so good, you know like this huge weight has been lifted off my shoulder but already I am feeling a little anxiuos about all the spare time I am going to have. I mean since I got back life has been nuts, with this visa thing and studying and working full time and all the added stuff like Spanish classes and Streetwise and a bit of recruiting stuff for Ayni. When I was in Peru life was even more nuts but I won’t go into that as I feel I am starting to sound like a broken record and the point is really that now that all that is over I don’t really know what to do with myself.

It is a little strange but I need to be busy, not just a little bit but really busy or I get depressed, it’s a bit os a catch 22 really because I am often quite stressed about all the things I have to do and I don’t like it but when I am not I feel bad. I guess I could find some more things to squeeze into my life, I was thinking about applying to be a volunteer with ALIV and I have done a couple of shifts at Bambinos recently and my boss, Dave asked me towork more and I very nearly said yes but I think this is a problem I need to sort out. I need to learn how to relax, how to have nothing to do and to still feel good about myself. I think that, that is important. It will be hard but and even more so if I can’t smoke.

Yay how well am I doing 3 weeks tommorrow without a cigarette. I must admit it is getting easier, I think time helps and I have also decided to recieve a little help from a new friend of mine, ‘The nicorette inhaler”.

I was listening to a girl on the train today, as much as I would like to say I don’t do that often, it would not be true, and she was talking about how she was giving up cigarettes. She said that since then she had become a really nasty person. She said that she thought all this evil stuff about people and everyone just pissed her off, she said that some of her friends told her that she had become a real bitch. Please tell me if that is happening with me.