She’s a Mil

Last week I went to the choir. I can’t really sing but everyone says that doesn’t matter and it seems to be the thing to do around here. I haven’t decided if I am going to join yet due to the not being able to sing factor but I had heaps of fun and the people are really cool so I am tempted.

The nicest thing though was the choir leader and his wife. They are both elderly but the choir leader is a bit younger and as a very dark skinned man hasn’t aged much and is still very attractive. He is also very charismatic and most of the ladies in the choir love him, some even flirt with him. He though pays no attention to this and remains very present and attentive to his wife. Without been over the top their love for each other is still really obvious after 42 years of marriage. It is so nice to observe.

Two anniversaries have come and gone in the last fortnight that I failed to acknowledge.

The most important on Friday (April 2) Martin and I were married for four years. It was a bit of a disaster day I have to say. I had, had a very stressful day at work and was feeling a bit overwhelmed by my whole life. All I wanted to do was go to the beach for a picnic, to look out over the ocean and get things in perspective but alas it was raining so we decided to see a ovie instead (escapism) but when we got there I realised I had read the timetable wrong and the movie we wanted to see wasn’t on that night. Unable to make a decision and not really in the space to sit through crap we went back to Hornsby and had thai, then a coffee and cake. We were home by 9.30 and by 12.00 I had vomited all my dinner back up again as it had made me so sick. I think there muct be some profound learning in all that, some kind of analogy about marriage not always going to plan etc etc but I could have done without it. However the last four years with Martin I could not have done without. At the risk of sounding like I should be talking to Richard Mercer I want the world to know that I love Martin so much and am so grateful that he would take such a risk with me.

The other slightly less imporatant but none the less significant is that my blog had its fifth birthday on March 22 2009. Yay for 5 years of “She’s a Mil”.

Martin got back to Sydney yesterday. After 6 weeks apart it was so wonderful to see him. He picked me up from work which was a lovely suprise. It has been pretty busy since he arrived with an engagement party, church and the AGM, Howie’s afternoon tea and then a few people around for dinner. Hopefully tomorrow we can get some more time.

Martin bought me the Juno soundtrack which I love. i dedicate the first song to him:

“If I was a flower growing wild and free
All I’d want is you to be my sweet honey bee.
And if I was a tree growing tall and green
All I’d want is you to shade me and be my leaves

All I want is you, will you be my bride
Take me by the hand and stand by my side
All I want is you, will you stay with me?
Hold me in your arms and sway me like the sea”

*replace the word bride for husband

I really don’t like romantic comedies. When watching them it kinds of feels okay but afterwards I am left feeling pretty empty and with a niggling feeling that I am not good enough (ie not as attractive as the actors that always adorn these movies) and that my relationship isn’t good enough (ie “and they lived happily ever after”). I feel they give an unrealistic view of what we should be and what our relationships should be. While I will not blame them totally, I certainly believe they contribute to the fact that people find it so hard to stay in long term relationships these days.

However there may be one or two romantic comedies I do like. One of these is “love actually”. Martin and I watched it on Saturday night and I really loved it. It wasn’t the first time I had seen it but I enjoyed it so much. I think it manages to give a very broad view of love. From the typical romantic comedy type to the more messy unrequited love (that doesn’t become requited) and the love between long term married couples and their families and the love between friends and my favourite (can’t think why) the love between people from different cultures and language backgrounds. Not to mention who can go past that scene of the arrivals gate at Heathrow Airport where people from all ages, sizes and ethnic groups greet their loved one with signs of affection and love.

I got to thinking about all this again this morning when reading my Bible and praying. I am currently reading Hosea (a very messy love story). It has been very relevant to me as I have been moved lately to really pray for some of my friends who are in difficult relationships or making decisions about relationships or struggling to forgive those around them who have hurt them deeply. This is the introduction to Hosea that Eugene Peterson gives in the Message.

We live in a world awash with love stories. Most of them are lies. They are not love stories at all - they are lust stories, sex-fantasy stories, domination stories. From the cradle we are fed on lies about love.
This would be bad enough if it only messed up human relationships - man and woman, parent and child, friend and friend - but it also messes up God-relationships. The huge, mountainous reality of all existence is that God is love. That God loves the world. Each single detail of the real world that we face and deal with day after day is permeated by this love.
But when our minds and imaginations are crippled with lies about love we have a hard time understanding the fundamental ingredient of daily living, “love,” either as a noun or a verb. And if the basic orienting phrase “God is love” is either plastered over with cultural graffiti that obscure and deface the truth of the way the world is, we are not going to get very far in living well. We require true stories of love if we are to live truly.
Hosea is the prophet of love, but not love as we imagine or fantasize it. He was a parable of God’s love for his people lived out and revealed as God enacted it - a lived parable. It is an astonishing story: a prophet commanded to marry a common whore and to have children with her. It is an even more astonishing message: God loves us in just this way - goes after us at our worst, keeps after us until he gets us, and makes lovers of men and women who know nothing of real love. Once we absorb this story and the words that flow from it, we will know God far more accurately. And we will be well on our way to being cured of all the sentimentalized and neurotic distortions of love that incapacitate us form dealing with the God who loves us and loving the neighbours who don’t love us.

After two days of unpleasant conversation with Optus I finally have a phone and internet and thus am able to make my first post out of Glebe. Horay. It is still in Tom’s name unfortunately and Tom has had his own unpleasant conversations but hopefully that too will be sorted out soon.

Seems like a good time to say all good in our new home. I really like the house, far, far more than I thought I would. In fact even the outdoor toilet which I was a bit anxiuos about has become a blessing in disguise. Someone painted it purple which is a very significant colour for me. Since reading the book “The Colour Purple” the colour purple has always been a reminder to me of God’s generosity and I have come to believe that we will answer for all the blesssings we were given that we did not appreciate. So when I am on the toilet, in the cold or the rain and wanting to feel sorry for myself there is the purple to remind me to give thanks instead.

It is also good for Martin and I to have a bit more space. After a five years of living with others in different communities I think it was time. I have a feeling our days of community are not entirely over but it is good to get some time now on our own for now.

Yesterday Martin and I celebrated our 3rd anniversary. When I consider that my grandparents will be married for 50 years this month it doesn’t seem all that much but significant to us none the less. So congratulations to us I say. The third year was good. Pleased to say each year just gets better and better.

We didn’t do anything. In fact Martin was at TAFE til about 10pm so I ate a Tofu Burger for dinner by myself. However he did leave flowers on my bed and we have a week’s holiday to Kiama booked for 14th - 18th April. I am really looking forward to that. It will be good to celebrate our anniversary and just unwind a bit from last months stresses.

It’s not Martin’s birthday today it was Friday but this weekend has pretty much been taken up with birthday events. On Friday night Matt, Gem, Martin and I went to the Peruvian restaurant for dinner. It was quiet but that was all we could really handle after the previous week and we had a good time. The food was really, really yummy, I think they may have a new and better chief as I think it’s the best it has ever been. I bought Martin a massage, he has been saying he wants one for ages now so I finally got around to getting it. While I was there buying I could not resist the temptation of buying myself one and that way I could keep him company. So on Saturday afternoon we went. It really was a totally unnecessary luxury but I guess if you only do these thing every couple of years it’s okay and it was very relaxing. I was thinking a massage course could be fun and that it would be a really nice skill to be able to offer one’s friends and family when they need it. Especially if they could never afford to actually pay one.

Back to birthday events…. In the evening we had Martin’s party. Another really fun event, with just the right amount of people, mostly good weather, yummy BBQ and wine, some great music (live and not so live) and really interesting conversations. Thanks to everyone that came. And thanks Martin for having a party and putting up with my stresses and just being you. I love you heaps.

Martin got home today. I went to the airport at 9 to get him but he didn’t walk out until about 10:10 so I was very excited by then. We came home and had breakfast with David and Ryan and then we spent the rest of the day just hanging out at home, it was nice. Lots of talks about Peru and more talks about life and what we are going to for the next stage of it. No real answers yet but certainly some ideas are coming to the front more than others. And hey I am enjoying the process. In the late afternoon we finally managed to get out of the house and we went to the fish market, bought some fish and made ceviche. Ceviche is my favourite Peruvian dish so I am looking forward to it. It is just soaking now and we will eat it later. Martin is also having a nap. About half an hour ago he just crashed but I am hoping I will be able to get him up in an hour or so for dinner.

33 hours until Martin gerts home. I am really excited about seeing him.