At about this time of year I start to get very tired and in need of a nice long summer break where I do not have to work and there are not a whole bunch of asessments due and you know there is just a more relaxed vibe around rather than the go, go, go all the time. And then I make new resolutions not to get as busy this year and to make sure I have more relaxing time and then of course I don’t. However next year will definitely be that year and I think that I am getting slightly beter.

I am looking forward to Blackstump though. I don’t imagine it will be a nice relaxing holiday especially as I have shifts at the TEAR Cafe til 1am in the morning but hopefully it will be an inspiring time. Looks like there are going to be some great people around.

Spring is making me so happy.

The smell of lavender, the warm sun, the fact that you can eat your breakfast outside and that your clothes dry when you hang out them out is sooooooo good. And the blue skies make me want to dance.

On Monday my laptop got stolen from our home. It was kind of strange as it was the only thing that took. Nothing else just the laptop. I guess it was just really easy and they were in a hurry. It really sux as it was a quite expensive computer. I mean I guess it wasn’t really that expensive if you think about how much computers can cost and that it had probably lost most of its value but it was relatively expensive to us. However Jem and I were talking last night and there are so many other things that happen when some one steals from you that they probably don’t realise but are almost as bad.

Firstly, I have a 3000 word essay tonight of which 1500 was on the computer and I had to start again. Secondly it makes you feel really untrusting. I mean now we have to get all security conscious and keep all the doors locked even if we are in the house (as someone was home when the laptop got stolen) which is so not what you want to be doing in summer. Also it makes you doubt the people that come around and again you don’t want that especially of you want to be a welcoming community. Thirday it can make you kind of angry and given that you can’t take it out on the person who stole from you, you take it out on the others aronud you, which you also don’t really want. Finally it is just a kind of yukky feeling that someone we don’t know was in our home and in our room.

Anyway have been trying to learn as much as I can from this. I am not sure how well I am doing but these are my tryings. I am trying not to totally fall apert about my assessment. It is the sort of thing that can drive me to a total anxiety attack but I have managed to keep it together thus far I am alos trying to continue payer for oour thief. We did on the night that it happened which helped. It reminded me that s/he was human too and also totally and completely loved by God which settled my anger a little. I have also been reflecting on what it means to be a community house after that. It now seems like there is an element of risk to it. That it is not just about fun and games but about reaching out to people even though you may lose your stuff. I really hope that we can do that.

Jemma and I were listening to John Coleman on the way home last night and the song we listened to on our first night here came on. The verse goes like this:

Father through Jesus, our Lord and our brother
We ask you to bless this house
We ask you to keep in your love and your caring
All who enter here

We probably weren’t thinking about the thief at that stage but I hope now that we are that the vision won’t change as I think the loss of that vision would be far sadder than the loss of the laptop.