I have my second doula client. The only problem is that she is due to have her baby next Tuesday and we are going to be in Darwin from Friday until Monday. I guess I just have to hope that she is like most firrst time mother’s and goes into labour late rather than early.

After our meeting like week she sent me an email that really made me even more certain about why I think doulas are important and why I want to be one. This is part of it.

“Since meeting you I sleep much better. I am much more confident about the birth and my perception of the pain I am going to experience changed totally… I am looking forward to it!”

Isn’t that great!! Makes me certain that even if she does come early and I don’t make it to her birth she will have a much better birth because she is feeling excited and confident in her abilities to birth her baby.

THe NT has this great public holiday called Picnic Day. Don’t you think that is great a day set aside for picnics? Anyway, yesterday was picnic day and so we had a picnic. It was a wonderful picnic in the riverbed opposite our house. There were lots of kids and dogs and good food to be enjoyed. As well as a really good dose of lazing around. It made me really happy.

The other thing we did for the long weekend was take Nina on her first camping experience. It went pretty well really. She loved it – being outdoors is definitely her thing. Although there was a bit of hard work for us making sure she didn’t choke on rocks or consume too much sand. Not to mention night feeds and early mornings in a tent are pretty cold.

Recently Martin and I have switched roles. He is Nina’s main caregiver and I am the main worker. I think it’s good for Nina and I get a bit of a break from each otehr and for Martin to spend more time with her. it’s a bit full on though. I am working at the a school tutoring teh ESL students Mon – Fri 8.20am -12.20pm. Then on Tuesday and Wednesday night I am teaching at AMEP which is 4pm-9pm including some preparation time. And then on Friday I work from 12.30 to 4.30 doing admin stuff for the AMEP enrollment etc. Not to mention there is still caring for Nina in between times and getting up to her once or twice a night. Lucky there are so many great people around to help.

I haven’t really listened to that much of the whole carbon tax coverage, I just find it all pretty depressing. Not because I have a problem with paying the tax but because it continues to highlight how hard by Australians think they are when we are so privileged. So I could be wrong in my next statement and correct me if I am but I haven’t heard anyone say, “this will not cost you anything if you decide to use less carbon”. They keep going over and over the figure of about $10 a week increase in cost of living expenses and how they are going to compensate it but no has made any suggestion for how people can use less. For example put on jumper instead of a heater, get rid of your electric blanket, turn off the TV or computer, ride a bike instead of drive, don’t eat meat etc etc. We have to remember that these things are actually privileges not rights.

And while I am having a rant I watched a documentary the other night about an island in Italy called Lampedusa. As a result of the current conflicts in the middle east they had more refugees come to their island in a week than Australia has got all year. It really showed the fear mongering here for what it was.

Nina is the coolest dancer ever. She just loves dancing and she is so cute when she does it. Sometimes she tries to sing along as well. Her other new love is creating chaos, she just loves to pull everything she can down from the shelf, out of the cupboard or out of the box but she hasn’t learnt to put it back yet. She has even discovered how to pull everything out of my wallet, interestingly enough the money and the credit card always come first. She also likes going to the park and crawling around on the grass or having a little swing. She has totally mastered crawling now although she continues to prefer to pull herself up. She really is an inquisitive little person and I love her so so much.

As part of my doula course I have to attend two births. Wednesday was my first one. It was long and exhausting but amazing. I feel a bit embarrassed saying this as it is a phrase that gets thrown around a lot but it was a truly humbling experience. When she gave birth I really felt so unworthy to be part of such a sacred experience. I truly wanted to take my shoes off as I was standing on holy ground.

I think women are truly amazing. The way that they sacrifice themselves so totally for their children. Towards the end the birthing woman was completely exhausted and she found that by lying down she could reduce the intensity of the contractions as well as get a much needed rest. However, reducing the intensity of the contractions means slowing the birth down. She knew she had to stand up but nothing in her wanted to this at all. However she did it. Watching her pull herself up and brace against the pain was one of the most courageous things I have ever seen.

I still really want to be a doula. While I am conscious that I still have so much to learn I think it fits pretty well with who I am. I am fairly aware of people and I am pretty level headed in very stressful situations. I totally believe in empowering women and ensuring they have the kind of births they want to have. It is also a job that requires one to totally forget themselves and focus on another person. This may not be naturally me but I would like to get better at that. However, I am a little unsure about how much time it will probably end up taking. Time away from my own family. Not to mention the emotional and physical energy requires. Things to think about I suppose.

I turned 29 on Saturday. It was a pretty simple, quiet day but just lovely. It was the first birthday Gem and I have had together since 2006 so it was really special having her around. On Saturday morning Ryan got up to Nina so we were able to have a 8.30 sleep in. We then had Saturday morning pancakes as usual. Recently, we’ve started having them around the fire which is a bit slower but starting the day around a fire is pretty nice. After pancakes I headed off with Jem and Gem for a massage which was very relaxing and then we had lunch in town.

When we got home I did a couple of chores, although not many as Jem had divinely scrubbed my house from top to bottom as a birthday present. It’s probably the cleanest it’s been since Nina was born. Finally, we got Nina off to bed before our birthday dinner. It was just family, John and Marilyn and the kids and my friend Rosie but just what I wanted. The kids had made pass the parcel so we started the night with that which made me feel very young. Then we had dinner in the new big room and John said we needed to christen it with dancing so dance we did. It was pretty daggy buy so fun. Margrita wanted to play musical stautues which turned into musical chairs. It was the most I’d laughed in a really long time.

29th birthday sufficiently celebrated.

I’ve been meaning to post about this for awhile now. It probably really isn’t the time as it’s late and I really need to get enough sleep but a few posts on the feed about God’s call have inspired me.

Martin and I are heading back to Peru. November 27th we leave. I guess we have been saying we are going to go for as long as we’ve been married so it’s not really a shock but it feels a bit like one to me. I kind of had it in my head it was still a few years from now and then of all a sudden we were going.

It started a few months back. I had started looking at houses thinking that maybe it would be kind of nice to settle down. I knew that we had always said we’d go to Peru but buying a house in Alice Springs was feeling much more appealing. Alice has its challenges but buying a home here felt much more comfortable and safe.

Then we had a few visitors who’d just been in Peru randomly come to stay. They’d been doing some really cool stuff in the development sector and I got all excited about that again. I was feeling very torn. Then Martin decided to quit his job. He’d been feeling very unhappy there for a number of months and finally could no longer continue there with any integrity. When I told our visitors that he’d quit and while I respected his decision I was a bit nervous they just said that things like this open up other possibilities.

So we started to talk about Peru again. Do we go? If so when? What were we going to do there? Would we buy a house there? How long would we stay there? Where would we live? I was feeling very stressed by all these decisions. But I was in my Quaker meeting that week and I was reading Esther and a thought just came into my head. Just make the next decision. All of sudden it feel so clear. We’d go. I couldn’t make all those decisions but I could make the next one.

A week later we’d booked our tickets to Peru. I don’t know where we’ll go, what we’ll do, how long we’ll be there. Really I have no idea. All I know is that we feel called to go. I guess we just have to trust God in the rest. We have ideas and visions and hopes and dreams for what we’d like to do etc etc but we can’t really know anything else until we get there.

Some days I am relaxed with this, other days it stresses me out but Howie’s post tonight reminded me that in the end it’s not really about what we do or don’t do. It’s just about facing the challenge that’s been put in front of us with all that scares me, excites me, thrills me, depresses me and in that trying to love those around us and been open to what they have to offer and what God gives us to offer.

We’ve been getting to zero and below the last couple of mornings. Give me hot over cold for sure. LLet me tell you getting up for night feeds at that temperature sux bad. Lucky Nina has only being wanting two, sometimes even one of late. Although, last night despite wearing a spencer and long johns under my pyjamas and having a sheet, blanket, doona and bed spread on the bed, I was still cold. Unbelievable.

Esther – Esther was one of my favourite stories when I was a little girl. It is the story of a brave woman who makes a brave choice. Not knowing what would happen she made a decision to help her people even though the consequences could have been tragic for her. She put her hope her God and took a leap of faith. It worked out for Esther. Unfortunately, it doesn’t work out like that for all people who hope and pray but I was inspired none the less and it certainly was a significant story to be reading as I made some decisions myself. Like Exodus, Esther presents us not with an abstract concept or a how to do it set of instructions but with a story, a story we can try to live into as we too take up the challenge to trust in God.

1-2 Peter – I really like this line from Peter. “So clean house! Make a clean sweep of malice and pretense, envy and hurtful talk. You’ve had a taste of God. Now, like infants at the breast drink deep of God’s pure kindness.” From The Message obviously. It is easy to forget how damaging things like pretense and envy can be for our souls. There is not a lot of focus on them really but the Bible reminds us a lot to try to keep them at bay. I also like the motherly image of God that is presented here and I love the idea of drinking deep from God’s kindness. Doesn’t the world need more kindness?