Too sick to think about what to blog, too sick to actully blog and all I would probably blog about anyway is how sick I am. And that like this post isn’t very interesting.

I arrived home last night after 25 days away. I was very happy to be here. The weather is perfect and everything is green from the rain. Not to mention it is just so good to sleep in my own bed and not live out of a bag. Especially good as the sickness has continued since my last post and when you are sick there is nothing is like home. Today I am going with Jo and Victor to find some waterholes so I think I will blog about road trip on the next post but perhaps I will finish up about the holiday in Sydney.

So where was I up to? I was having dinner with an old school friend last Friday but was very unwell. When I arrived at her place I just collapsed on her lounge wondering how I was going to get through. She asked if I was up for dinner and I explained that food was good so we got in her car and headed to a restaurant. On the way she had to pull over though so I could vomit all over the gutter and some of her car. Not the most dignified moment of my life but I felt much better for it and I was able to have a good time with her. It was a lovely meal on Dee Why beach and great to hear about what she’s been up to.

She dropped at my grandparents in Collaroy where I stayed that night and the next day I was able to spend on the beach with my family. It was the perfect day for it and the water was awesome. We also had a big lunch at my grandmother’s before returning to Jane’s. I was feeling pretty sick again in the evening but Tom came round with a movie which we watched. It was very kind of him.

On Sunday there was a farewell picnic for the Guatemalans in Hornsby park. Still sick but I got there and it was a lovely afternoon in the park with them and the crew from Hornsby. We had a swim in the pool which was very comforting to me and then I had a lemonade with the other school friend who I still see. That evening we had Thai food which I think was a bit mistake for me but the people were lovely and it was my last night in Sydney. I felt sad to be leaving again. I miss all my friends in Sydney and how comfortable and normal it all feels when I am with them. On the other hand it was good to be heading home………

So time to catch up my time here in Sydney.

It’s been a pretty hectic time since leaving Kat and Tom’s early Christmas morning after a late night of picnic’s at Glebe and Christmas Eve services. It was great to go to Glebe church and catch up with the crew there. Also, great to see the new minister in action after all the hard nominating work and he seems to be going very well. Everyone there seems pretty happy. I have to say it all felt like another world to me though.

Christmas day was good fun. We had a picnic with the Frenches, Castles, Hayes-Hidalgos plus some other lovelies. It wasn’t really the right weather for a picnic but we made it work in the end. It was good to be on the Harbour and to eat good food and to be with a group of people who feel like family. Then it was off to my grandmother’s. She put on her usual amazing spread of food and wine and it was a lovely evening of eating, present giving and catching up.

We spent the night there with the hope of the hitting the beach the next day but alas the weather was still not great so after breakfast we headed back to Eastwood where we spent the night with John who was a wonderful host to us. The next day I went to Newtown with Gem to buy a dress. We caught up with Jem as well and she showed us her new home. In the evening we saw Avatar at Hornsby and I have already wrote about that. We left John’s the next day (now the 28th) to pick up Jo, Victor and the five other Guatemalans. It was very exciting to see them. We drove back to Jane’s for a welcome lunch and then dinner.

The 29th was Peats Ridge time. After having an afternoon tea with David and Andreana, Jem and I headed down on the bus at three. We walked down into Glenworth Valley where the festival was and sat around and drank Chai til the others (Keith, Ryan, Gem and my mum ) arrived. My friend from Alice, Joy, was also there so she joined us for Chai. The next three days were filled with music and swimming in the river and more chai. It was a beautiful venue and we heard some great music and had a lot of fun but it was pretty intense for me. It was all very loud and the weather wasn’t the best and I was feeling pretty tired so I found it all a bit full on. Coming home on the 1st was a relief and having a cleansing shower and sleep. We spent the night at Janet’s who was another gracious host. Jem, Gem, Janet and I had dinner and movie with Jo before her Australian wedding.

The Australian wedding or Happy Party the next day was truly a very happy party. I had a great time catching up with people and dancing and most importantly celebrating Jo and Victor and marriage. The weather was not perhaps what the hosts were hoping for but it was phenomenal none the less. We spent the night with Jess in Wollongong and headed back to the party venue for breakfast with the crew in the morning.

From there it was on to Tamworth. A long drive from Wollongong and I was not feeling the best most of the day. It was great to get there and see my dad and my grandparents. My dad’s done some more great things with his house. I was able to have a much needed quiet day on the 4th. I was still sick and pretty tired from all the events so I just slept and read all day. It was my father’s 50th party that evening. Another great event with lots of catching up with special people. My grandma and aunts and Gemma said some pretty moving but very honest things about my dad. It was very him I think. We spent the next day in Tamworth as well. We went swimming in the river and had Thai food for dinner. Tamworth actually has a decent Thai restaurant these days which was exciting. We drove back to Sydney the next day and stayed with Janet that night.

I was still sick the next day and today so I have just been resting at Jane’s feeling sorry for myself and complaining to anyone who will listen. It’s not a bad place for that either as there are lots of people coming and going from this place at the moment. I was pleased though that Martin and I had the place to ourselves last night so were able to enjoy a romantic dinner and a movie before everyone came home again.

Now I have to prepare to head to Manly for dinner with an old school friend and then staying at my grandmother’s. I am praying my health and the weather will allow me to hit the beach this weekend as I have been desperate to for the whole trip but haven’t managed to.

I probably should be writing about Christmas and New Year and all the big news that we have (and I will do that soon) but I just want to get in the last movie and

Movie 9 – Avatar
This movie was very cool. Not life changing or anything but enjoyable. It was very beautiful and the 3D effects were very special I thought. This movie is about humans going to anpother planet to mine some valuable mineral. However there are some indigenous creatures on this planet whose homes are going to be destroyed in the process. Some humans get to know the indigenous creatures and one of course falls in love with one so they fight to protect them. The ending is predictable and while I was very pleased of course that all ended up ok part of me was hoping that perhaps it wouldn’t. Because in real life it has not been a happy ending for indigenous people, their land and meaning has been taken from them. Perhaps if this had happened in a fictional story such as this that had people so emotionally involved people may be more aware of what is going for indigenous communities around the world. Maybe not but you know what I am getting at.

Book 14 – “On Rage” by Germaine Greer.
This was a pretty small book, a long essay really about rage, specifically about the rage carried by indigenous men. It may be surprising to know that a book written by Germaine Greer was actually quite sympathetic to men and very well thought out. She basically made the point that indigenous men are drinking and being violent because they are filled with rage. While white men indigenous women have been able to hold on to some of their traditional roles and meanings through child birth and raising the men have almost totally lost their roles. She argues that alcohol restrictions and all other programs etc etc that are implemented are not going to work unless we create a space for this rage to be expressed (and maybe this won’t even work). She feels that the NT intervention actually creates a bigger tension between indigenous men and women and drives a wedge between them as it often portrayed as been about white people protecting indigenous women from their men. However she is quick to point out that white men have certainly not been portectors of indigenous women. The whole stolen generation basically amounts from the rape of indigenous women by white men. It is a bleak book but an important one I think.

So 14 books read and 9 movies seen in 2009. Not a bad effort really, especially as I managed to see more movies that Howie.

We flew into Sydney last night. An hour late and like icebergs because the aircon was so cold on the plane but excited to be here. Kat and Tom picked us up which was great and we headed into Newtown for some drinks and Thai food. Really good thai it was amazing and we bumped into three other people that we knew, including Josh which made me feel like I could have been in Alice. We made it home with gelato and Kat and I a little bit tipsy for late night conversations in their backyard.

This morning we headed out for breakfast in downtown concord. It all felt very inner west. It isn so good to be here. Tom and Kat asked if it was weird to be here after so long but it’s not really. While I am very conscious of the people and traffic and advertising coming in being here feels very normal. It’s amazing how you can not see some people for ages but as soon you do it just feels like they’re your friends and that’s it.

I think I am making a bit of a theme this year of joining in conversations when they have finsished. But I am at a loss of what to blog about and I meant to do this when it was going as I love books so here you go. Five books that have impacted my life. This list of course could be a lot longer and would probably be different on another day but here’s what came to mind today.

“Passionate Marriage” by David Schnarch

I think I have probably read this book or parts of it every year since I got married. I guess I am a pretty slow learner and I still get something out each time. The main theme of this book is differentiation which is about holding onto yourself in close relationships. Quite contrary to popluar cultures idea of romance and intimacy, this book argues that we need to validate ourselves and our own sharing in our relationships not expect that from someone else. When things go wrong in our relationships, especially our marriage, we like to blame the other person and spend most of our time trying to change them. Passionate Marriage puts the focus on us. If we want the sort of marriage we want we need to create ourselves not expect it from another person. It is very liberating I reckon.

“Christianarchy” by Dave Andrews

It’s been awhile since I read this book so I am not sure I can really articulate clearly what it is about and who knows if it would have the same effect now but the first time I read it felt like coming home. At a time when I was feeling that perhaps Christianity wasn’t for me this book made me feel it was. Christianarchy talks about a very radical Jesus. A Jesus that was inclusive, passionate about the poor and a grace that meets us where we are and is truly unconditional. It pushes us to also live like this.

“God of small things” by Arundhati Roy

Others have mentioned this book but it truly is rare. Perhaps not in it’s themes, no it looks at the univeral themes of love across boundaries and family and death and being on the outside but almost every sentence in a feast. The way she puts things together is truly extraordinary. It would creat a passion for language in anyone I reckon.

“Pedagogy of the Oppressed” by Paulo Friere

This was one of the first books I read when I bagan studying adult education and it very much influenced the huge passion I have for my work. It certainly got me through some of the much drier, uninspiring texts we had to read and is still what I come to back to now for inspiration in my work. I have talked about this before but this book is written in a Latin American context and calls educators to use education to liberate people rather than oppress them.

“The Curly Pyjama Letters” by Michael Luenig

There had to be a Leunig book in there and I think this would be one of my favourites. I love the way Leunig points us extraordinary in the ordinary. Who makes us feel like life is filled with wonder in all that is mundane. Whenever I read this book or any Luenig prayer or thought really I am overwhelmed with a desire to give thanks or to dance or just bask in the sunshine.

“The good news according to Luke” by Richard Rohr

I have thrown this in at the end. I know I said five but then I thought of this and just had to put it in and I didn’t want to get rid of any of the others. I read this book this year and it excited me again at another low point in my journey to read the Bible. Not in the way I have traditionally but in a way that opens up possibilities for truth and understanding beyond the literal. It encouraged me that I can still come to the Bible even if I don’t come to it as most Christians do, that God is bigger than all our limited understandings.

This book has certainly slowed me down. Written in Spanish (and not really that good) meant that it took me a long time to get through. It was basically about a guy having a summer in holiday with his daughter in a place where he grew up remanicissing “the good old days” when he was younger. The focus was definitely on the girls that he was with. There were a few interesting reflections on life and marriage and getting older and all those things but I wasn’t that excited by this book. I guess I can not really relate to that feeling of school and uni being the best days of our lives and I thought the guy wasn’t a bit of an idiot. It was good to read a book in Spanish though. I know my Spanish is slipping mroe and more each year so I need to do these things to ensure I don’t lose it totally.

I started attending a Quaker meeting a few months ago. I tried the Salvos but I just don’t think the main stream church is for me at this stage of my life. I am just loving the Quaker meetings though. We are a small group (only 6 of us) and all of us except one are pretty new to Quakerism so we have been reading a book of different readings called Quaker Basics. Obviously it is all about Quakerism and what the Quakers do and stand for. There is some really interesting and inspiring stuff in it and after the meeting in silence we have breakfast and sit and discuss the readings.

Last weeks reading were really profound for me and spoke directly to a situation I have been having at work. A student of mine a few weeks got a little frustrated with another student in the class who had answered a question he had posed. This is something I encourage in my classroom, I like creating a space in which we all learn together and from each other so I asked him stay back and talk about his problem. I was nervous as this student has also always been quite cold with me as well. However we had the most amazing conversation. He started off quite aggressively telling me that he came to class to learn English from me. He said that in Africa the teacher teaches and the students learn. If the students know so much then they don’t need to come to class he argued. He also said that he didn’t like group work. He told me that the other students in the class were rascist, that he has been studying with them for a year now and they hadn’t talked to him before, only now in my class. I was secretly pleased with this revelation, one of things I have most enjoyed is watching the students build friednships and learn about each other’s culture but obviously it is hard for him so I asked if he would prefer to work with the other Sudanese students. He said he wouldn’t. He is from a different tribe to most of the Sudanese in Alice and in my class and it was this other tribe that came into his village and murdered his parents and older brother. I was obviously shocked but his coldness with me was starting to make more sense. I listened to him as he told me his story, and he calmed down as he did so. He told me about how he came to Australia and his wife and children still in Sudan.

Since then I have thought about him a lot. About his life of course but also his thoughts on my teaching. While I have to say he seems to be a lot better in class since our chat I have been really struggling to work out how I can be the sort of teacher he wants without changing my style completely. Not only do some of the other student’s report to like it but I think it is actually a leads to more learning than a totally teacher centred approach. Not to mention I think it is really the only way I can be, While I was battling with this in my head I read this in the Quaker book. The author is actually a teacher as well, who does traning with other teachers about their strengths and weaknesses so it speaks directly to my problem but I think it works in all areas of life too.

“I ask the teachers to help each other to see that our limitations and liabilities are the flipside of our gifts, how our weaknesses are the inevitable trade offs we must make for having the strengths we have. When I understand my limits as trade offs for my strengths, something new and liberating happens within me. I no longer want to have my limitations fixed for to get fixed would be to compromise or destroy my gift. Instead I want to learn to acknowledge, embrace and live more gracefully within my limitations. So I will never be a good teacher for some students but perhaps I can find a way to keep the situation from souring.”

My calves really, really hurt today and I have a massive bruise on my right foot. In fact I am limping in such a way that I am worried others may think I have done a little something in my pants. My little injuries were obtained on Friday night. We went to hear a local Latin band (can you believe it Alice Springs has a Latin band?) called “los bandeleros perdidos”. They were playing at the Lane, one of the best venues in town, on the roof of a local restaurant. They were fantastic and we danced lots. In fact everyone did. They played a lot of Samba music, a dance I actually know but it is very intense on the calves. It is a dance I used to do a lot in Peru but obviously not very much now days because my calves are still aching two days later. The bruise on my foot was from another dancer whose high heel came down hard on my foot. All in good fun though so worth it.

There has been lots of live music in my life lately and that makes me very happy. Last weekend we went a fundraiser held on the most beautiful property near our place. Anyone could get up and sing or play music or act. We even had someone do some trapeze stuff. Some of it was great and some of it wasn’t so great but either way I think it is cool that there is a space where people can just come and have a go in a supportive atmosphere. There was also some live music at Olive Pink the week before that. Another spectacular setting, in the Botanic Gardens, especially as the sun came down and everything glowed as it so famously does here in the centre.

Martin’s friend Sy was also around for about ten days. He plays the didj so we heard him a few times a round town. One night he played in a restaurant with the local saw player who is amazing and Martin even played drums for a few songs. He also played one night in the big room at Keith and Mum’s place. Malley and John came with family and a few friends. There wasn’t many of us but in the end we were all playing something (drums, guitar, didj, tapping sticks) and dancing, the sound was great. John was singing traditional way too. It was very cool.

I attended another protest on Tueday. Well, the organisers weren’t calling it a protest they were calling it a welcome. You see the NT state government has come to Alice for parliament this week and we were asked to come down to the convention centre to welcome them and remind them that there are many people in Alice Springs who do not want a Uranium mine in our town. Not sure how many of us there were, it wasn’t huge but it wasn’t small either but we seemed to get a fair bit of media time. Local media of course but that’s okay.

In regards to the other protest about the Alice Springs by laws that we were sleeping out against we had a bit of success really. I mean not just us of course lots of people wrote letters and attended meetings as well as our sleep out but the council obviously heard and seriously watered down their by laws. Still not perfect as far as I’m concerned and a lot more needs to be done in this place to improve but they were watered down enough to be fairly insignificant. So that is a bit of boost really and hopefully a nice little reminder to all of you who read this and are involved in many areas of social action that it can make small differences I suppose.