After the longest interview of my life last night (2 hours and 15 mins) I have some time to take. So I am going home for an early start to the weekend. Hallelujah. It is going to be a good one.

“A community is only being created when its members accept that they are not going to achieve great things, that they are not going to be heores, but simply live each day with new hope, like children in wonderment as the sune rises and in thanksgiving as it sets. Community is only being created when they have realised that the greatness in humanity lies in the acceptance of our insignificance, our human condition and our earth and to thank God for having put in our finite body the seeds of eternity which are visible in small and daily gestures of love and forgiveness. The beauty of people is in this fidelity to the wonder of each day.”

Jean Vanier (1979) Community and Growth

For the last two years in October I have written a post about being tired and being a bit overwhelmed with life. See. And see again.

I am quite pleased that I managed to get through October without writing that post. I think no longer being a uni student helps not to mention my very intentional efforts to not be too busy. But alas I do not think I am going to get through November. I am tired. As the year comes to an end, I realise that I am very ready for my Christmas/January holidays. Time off work will be good, time off nominating will be even better (I am really hoping we are not expected to do much of that over Christmas) and time with very missed friends and family will be the best.

I also realise that perhaps I find pain more difficult at the end of year. Not mine this year (I really have had a very blessed year for which I am grateful) but that of those around me, of the world. The beginning of a year feels hopeful, there is energy around to try and make a difference. The end of the year seems more like waiting.

This year I have been involved in preparing liturgies for church so I have learned a lot about the Christian calender. At the end of year (as of Nov 30) we have advent which is about waiting, about preparing for the birth of Jesus. Then we have Christmas obviously about clebrating the birth of Jesus. And after that, 12 days after Christmas (Jan 6), we have Epiphany which is the day associated with the three kings visiting Jesus. This is the time to focus on our vision, on healing divisions, on newness of life. I have been thinking at some unconscious level (which has now become conscious) this calender influences me.

Learning to sit with pain. Knowing you can’t fix it. Knowing you can’t make it go it away. Feeling so helpless, knowing all you can do is just sit with people in it. And hope and pray. It’s not easy.

So now after watching many hours of TV and internet and Obama’s acceptance speech over and over I feel ready to comment. Not that it really has anything to do me but well that’s what blogs are for aren’t they.

I am happy, probably not estatic but very happy. There was still too many “God Bless America’s” and too much talk of the importance of “securing the borders” and helping the poor, struggling, American middle class for me to be entirely comfortable (I was much more comfortable with the “sharing the wealth” comment to the now famous Joe the plumber but I probably shouldn’t say that too loud) but I am hopeful for the end of the war, a willingness to work with other nations and better health care for poorer Americans. I am also pleased that there is finally an African-American president. Not that, that is the only reason he got in and that is good but it was moving watching yesterday a little story on a African-American family. Three generation of women told there story and what it meant to them. I cried. It is, if nothing else, very important symbolism bit just for America but for the world.

I also noted that there was no comment on where Christians were voting. Last election there was a big deal made about how conservative Christians got George Bush in based on “moral issues” such as abortion, prayer in schools, gay marriage and fighting islam. I don’t know but perhaps some more American Christians (as I am sure there were some last time) have come to see that these are not the real moral issues rather things like poverty, war and equality are and it would have been nice had that got some coverage. But alas it seems Christianity only gets coverage when Christians are behaving like radical right wing nazis and I think that’s a shame.

I am sitting in a tattoo place. It is Martin’s birthday today and he wanted me to get him a tattoo so I am. He seems to be coping thus far. I am not really so I am distracting myself by writing this. I am writing on the Iphone so it is going to take me awhile.

We have had a nice day. Went to church in the morning and then after we headed to fish markets for some garlic prawns kebabs. From there we drove across to Balgowlah for a picnic on one of the headlands overlooking the harbour. It was very beautiful but there were a whole bunch of magpies which were making me a bit nervous. After the picnic we came to Manly for icecream and now Martin’s tattoo. Scary but happy birthday my lovely.

On Monday, only four days after my Opera experience I went to the art gallery for the Monet and the Impressionists exhibitions. I felt very cultural and it was fantastic. As someone who doesn’t mind the art gallery but wouldn’t normally say I am passionate about it I was very much blown away. I am reluctant to say much more as I am sure I will make my lack of understanding about art obvious but I just loved the way they are more about painting the emotion of a place than actually getting it technicallly correct. For example, there was one painting that I looked at for awhile. I was very conscious of a person there and what they were thinking. When I looked again I realised that the person was actually more a shape but it was more a person to me than a lot of other more technically brilliant persons. if that makes sense? I also loved the colours and the light. The way Monet can paint the same thing a couple of times but at different times of day but they look so different just because of the colours. I think this may be the sort of thing my mother has been trying to tell me most of my life so I hope she does read this post. After my friend Jenny with whom I went to the gallery shouted me lunch at the Botanic gardens restaurant. Also, a very special lunch.

Last night I went to the Opera. Goldman Sachs JBWere put on a Community Tribute Concert to which they invited staff and volunteers of local NGO’s to the Opera to say thanks for the work we do. I thought it was a lovely gesture. It wasn’t a particular Opera rather about ten different pieces from famous Operas which gave us a bit of taste for what Opera is all about. It was quite amazing really and it was at the Opera House which added to the specialness.

In regards to other little blessings I have finally got some sleep. Life is so much easier on good sleep. I also receieved a letter from Jo which just warmed heart.

And finally this morning Martin went to work with a friend so rather than having to do the one hour, five mins trek on public transport I did the 35 mins drive. I listened to Michael Franti and sung and danced all the way. The return of the Blue Skies and sun made me want to even more.

Haven’t been sleeping very well of late. It really sux, lying awake for hours and hours and just not been able to get to sleep. I am feeling hopeful about tonight. I am very tired, I haven’t drunk any coffee today and I am actively trying not to think about any of the things in my life that are stressing me a bit and run through my head over and over as I lie there at night.

I am so over middle class families earning $100 000 or over complaining about how much tax they have to pay and that the government doesn’t give them anything. And I am over newspapers giving their whinging and whining air time with a picture of a usually quite attractive couple (looking so hard done by) and their two kids.

Now I know I don’t have any kids but Martin and I live on half that amount (maybe just over) and we still live fantastic, pretty extravagant lives really. If they would just start focusing on what they do have, rather than what they don’t maybe they’d be a lot happier.