Called to live among your people
Called to know my poverty
Called to sense the mystery in the ordinary day
Called to live amid the struggle
Called to gently hold the pain
Called to stand in wonder at the sacred in our lives

Give me sight to see the beauty in the ones who are despised
Lord may I see them through your eyes
Give me ears to hear the weeping of those wounded by despair
Lord in the brokeness you’re there
Give me a heart that longs to love, a heart that welcomes those who are alone
Lord in you we are at home

I am still feeling really tired and overwhelmed by the world. So much pain, so much lonliness, so much poverty, so many wars and so many gossip magazines yet there are so many people who are so wealthy, so ignorant and just don’t seem to care at all. It is all making me quite anxious.

Thankfully I have done a couple of things to try and reinspire and reenergise myself. Firstly I have put in to start work at 11am two days a week which means that I can start my days with a swim and prayer and meditation. It also gives me time to try and do some things I have been meaning to do for ages like write leters to politicians or paint.

Ryan has also agreed to share team leading responsibilities with me at Rough Edges. This will give me more of chance to talk to people and listen to them and engage with them which is something that really sustains me but I find hard to do when I am having to watch everthing that is going on.

And finally Martin and I have started going out every second Friday. It is good as we don’t really get to see much of each other as we are so busy with work and studies and it is also fun. We went put put golfing which he had never done before and we went and ate at the Peruvian restaurant which we do a lot but it is yum and he kind of needs to have it sometimes and it reminds him of home.

At about this time of year I start to get very tired and in need of a nice long summer break where I do not have to work and there are not a whole bunch of asessments due and you know there is just a more relaxed vibe around rather than the go, go, go all the time. And then I make new resolutions not to get as busy this year and to make sure I have more relaxing time and then of course I don’t. However next year will definitely be that year and I think that I am getting slightly beter.

I am looking forward to Blackstump though. I don’t imagine it will be a nice relaxing holiday especially as I have shifts at the TEAR Cafe til 1am in the morning but hopefully it will be an inspiring time. Looks like there are going to be some great people around.

Spring is making me so happy.

The smell of lavender, the warm sun, the fact that you can eat your breakfast outside and that your clothes dry when you hang out them out is sooooooo good. And the blue skies make me want to dance.

On Monday my laptop got stolen from our home. It was kind of strange as it was the only thing that took. Nothing else just the laptop. I guess it was just really easy and they were in a hurry. It really sux as it was a quite expensive computer. I mean I guess it wasn’t really that expensive if you think about how much computers can cost and that it had probably lost most of its value but it was relatively expensive to us. However Jem and I were talking last night and there are so many other things that happen when some one steals from you that they probably don’t realise but are almost as bad.

Firstly, I have a 3000 word essay tonight of which 1500 was on the computer and I had to start again. Secondly it makes you feel really untrusting. I mean now we have to get all security conscious and keep all the doors locked even if we are in the house (as someone was home when the laptop got stolen) which is so not what you want to be doing in summer. Also it makes you doubt the people that come around and again you don’t want that especially of you want to be a welcoming community. Thirday it can make you kind of angry and given that you can’t take it out on the person who stole from you, you take it out on the others aronud you, which you also don’t really want. Finally it is just a kind of yukky feeling that someone we don’t know was in our home and in our room.

Anyway have been trying to learn as much as I can from this. I am not sure how well I am doing but these are my tryings. I am trying not to totally fall apert about my assessment. It is the sort of thing that can drive me to a total anxiety attack but I have managed to keep it together thus far I am alos trying to continue payer for oour thief. We did on the night that it happened which helped. It reminded me that s/he was human too and also totally and completely loved by God which settled my anger a little. I have also been reflecting on what it means to be a community house after that. It now seems like there is an element of risk to it. That it is not just about fun and games but about reaching out to people even though you may lose your stuff. I really hope that we can do that.

Jemma and I were listening to John Coleman on the way home last night and the song we listened to on our first night here came on. The verse goes like this:

Father through Jesus, our Lord and our brother
We ask you to bless this house
We ask you to keep in your love and your caring
All who enter here

We probably weren’t thinking about the thief at that stage but I hope now that we are that the vision won’t change as I think the loss of that vision would be far sadder than the loss of the laptop.

And here are some photos of La Habana – just because they are cool and I suppose as I have been talking about Cuba.

Well without wanting to repeat too much of what Ryan said I am really wanting to write about Cuba right now.

We have been studying Cuba in Spanish this semester and it has been really rather interesting. However, while the rest of the class seems to be coming to the conclusion that Cuba is a “third world” country with a fascist government I am coming to think that it is really rather cool. I was wondering if I was just understanding really badly or if the fact that I so desperately want it to be working was clouding my judgement but it appears that, that may not be the case. I watched a documentary about it with Ryan, Jemma and David who I think are all very smart people and who have a fair amount of experience and they appear to have the same understanding as me. Especially Ryan who has done some economics thing that appears to show that the poor in Cuba are far better off than the poor in the rest of the world. So yay for Cuba then. Viva Fidel.

Don’t get me wrong there appears to be a lot of problems in Cuba, the people are struggling, their currency is worth nothing even inside Cuba, there is not lot of food or oil around (however that is probably getting better now that they are swapping oil for doctors with Venezuala) and rights for homosexuals and women are not great but well it appears to be far better off than the majority of the world and they appear to be really trying to make it better. They also have the best health care and education in the world which no one can really complain about and the people still believe in their government and their own ability to make cahanges which well is more than I can say for me.

And given that in Australia one in five people have a mental illness, one in four women are sexually abused, suicide is killing more and more young people every year and our indigenous people have a life expectancy twenty years less than the average Australian I’m not convinced we can say that our quality of life is that much better even if we do have a bit more money.

I am at work and it is Saturday – that sux but well I love my job so I shouldn’t complain and I will of course get some time in lieu.

I am at work because I have to speak at a Mass tonight about Compeer so I am here picking up the things I need and practising the speech a bit. I am a little nervous but it should be okay.