Films that you can watch over and over are certainly a different category to favourite films or films you think are the best films.  While I do really like serious, sad and heavy going dramas for me to be able to watch a film over and over it cannot be any of these things but it certainly cannot be stupid or too light either.  Anyway, here are the films I can think of right now:

The Lord of the Rings Trilogy.  I love these films.  I have tried reading the books but cannot get into them.  However, the films, I just adore.  This is totally unlike me, normally it’s the opposite.  I feel like I shouldn’t like them this much.  I wouldn’t say I am that into fantasy and they are very “good vs evil” and totally dominated by typical male heroes who worship royalty which also isn’t my thing but they are such a good adventure story and I still notice new little details when I watch them.  Set in New Zealand they are very beautiful and a number of the actors are too.  Like many people I would say the ending of the last film goes on way to long.  I think it should end when Aragorn is made king or at least with the Hobbitts return to “The Shire.”  But you know who am I really to decide that. 

Harry Potter.  Just recently Martin and I finished watching all these films again.  Last time we did was just before we went and saw the last one at the cinema which was only a year ago.  Like Lord of the Rings they are such a good adventure story and I notice new little details each time.  They are also very beautiful.  I especially love Hogwarts.  I love seeing the kids get older, the characters develop, the relationships form and that they get darker each time.  I am not convinced the last ones really should be called children’s films.  I often do think in real life Harry Potter would be totally messed up but I guess there are lots of things about Harry Potter that are not real life and that element of total escapism is probably what makes them possible to watch a lot.

Love Actually.  I am not usually a huge fan of romantic comedies but I do really like this one.  Unlike most I think it is genuinely funny and apart from pouty Keira Knightley I think the actors are fantastic.  It’s light so possible to watch over and over but it’s not stupid or crass at all and has some more serious moments.  I think I quite like that style of a number of different stories going on and interweaving in different ways.  It honours lots of different stages and types of love, not just “falling in love” which most movies tend to focus on.  There is falling in love of course but there is also long term marriage, unrequited love, love of children and friends and the cross culture/language relationship which of course if my favourite.

Dirty Dancing.  Obvious really why one can watch this over and over.  The dancing, the music and Patrick Swayze.   It always reminds me of being 15.  Not that that was an age I particularly liked but this film makes me nostalgic for the few good things about it.  I know I deserved to be teased for loving this film so much, it is as cheesy as it gets, but I don’t care, I do love it.

Priscilla Queen of the Desert.  This film makes me laugh out loud, still.  It has some of the best lines ever I reckon and the actors do them so well.  Again I think it’s a beautiful film and having now made that drive myself a few times I think even more so.  I love the Australianess of it too.  While it does have its more serious moments it really is just so much fun especially the music.

Like a number of other’s on the feed I would like to blog more.  I would also like my posts to be more interesting.  My blog often bores me.  However, again like other’s I often struggle to come up with something to blog about.

Thus, I have come up with my only little scheme to get blogging more and perhaps more interestingly.  I have made a list of the next 31 topics that I will blog about (31 as that is the amount of days there are in most months of the year).  I am going to try to blog everyday for the next 31 days but I reserve the right not to if I am away or too tired or whatever else.  The topics mainly come from the suggestions people made on Tom’s, Lesley’s or Gemma’s blogging by request series or something someone has blogged about that I wanted to respond to.  A few topics are also things I have often thought I’d like to blog about but never got to.  Some I have even started and have been sitting in my drafts for awhile.  The last one was a request by Martin (although I do often blog about her anyway I am sure I could always write more).

Anyway, here are the 31 topics:

1. Movies I can watch over and over
2. What makes me angry
3. A Bible verse that has moved me lately
4. Books that have influenced me greatly
5. Doubts I have about my faith
6. Facebook
7. Biblical heroes.  Who and Why
8. What fascinates me
9. Grandparents
10. Vulnerability
11. Sleep
12. Friendship
13. Something that inspired me today
14. Happiness
15. What I love about living in Chulucanas
16. What I don’t like about living in Chulucanas
17. Hope
18. A photo I love
19. Family
20. Turning 30
21. Grace and healing
22. 3 people and foods if I was stuck on a desert island
23. What’s old that I am still enjoying
24. What makes God real to me, rather than an elusive idea
25. Eating together
26. Work
27. Memory
28. Soccer
29. Sin
30. How God was present in my life today
31. Nina

I would love it if people would make others suggestions of things I could blog about when these 31 days is over (no pressure I know I have already taken most of the topics) but please keep suggestions to one or two otherwise I’ll get overwhelmed.

I am looking forward to this.

I am very glad that I studied adult education. I am teaching at a primary school here and it is full on. Not that adult ed doesn’t have its challenges, of course it does but they are the kind of challenges I enjoy. The challenges of primary education are mostly discipline challenges and I do not really enjoy them. The kids in the classes I am teaching are pretty wild. They seem to love hitting each other, kicking each other and pulling each others hair. They spend most of my class not in their seats and doing anything else but listening to what I am saying. I come with games and songs but either they are not interested at all or get so excited that it is impossible to get it actually happening. I have tried pair work and group work but then have spent literally half the lesson just trying to get them into pairs or groups.

I think one of the biggest problems is they are used to one way of discipline, yelling and threats. As I do not wish to do either of these things I tend to have a completely out of control class. I have tried waiting it out til they settle but they don’t so I end up losing the whole lesson. I have tired musical instruments to get their attention which worked the first few times but after they heard a couple of times they became oblivious to it. When I have regrettably resorted to one of these methods out of sheer desperation it has worked but I don’t like myself much after. The other thing they seem to do well is copy off the board. Again not a teaching method I think is very productive but one they are used to and sometimes the only way to break up a fight.

Anyway, despite this there does seem to be a little bit of learning happening from some students. The last fortnight they have had tests. I didn’t really wish to test them but it is the system that we are part of and the teacher’s were pressuring for it. I was also keen to see if anything was getting through at all. I did an oral exam which was nice as I got some one on one time with all the students. I used the time to try to fill in any gaps. There were a lot of gaps and I didn’t have time to address all of them for very student but some at least. And it was satisfying to see a few students do really well. Especially the students who had been trying or who I wasn’t really expecting it from.

Anyway, I am trying to savour these nice moments for this year that we are here and I am praying it will teach me lots of things, most of all patience, but I am glad I am not looking at a lifetime of it.

I am sure that you are all dying to know but the goggles arrived. Yay!! Today I went to the pool again and it felt awesome. Although didn’t quite make my usual amount. I guess I’ll have to build up again.

I have any empty to do list. Feels so nice. No classes to plan, no emails to write, no women to visit, no cleaning or washing to do. Well at least not for the next day or two. And right Nina is asleep so maybe I can have a siesta. That’s what half of Chulucanas is doing right now.

Last night I put Nina to bed. As usual we said a prayer, I told her I loved her and then I walked out. She is able to fall asleep on her own these days which is a very exciting development. Sometimes I hear her talking to her doll or her bear for a little while but usually fairly quickly she’s quiet. Anyway, last night a wonderfult thing happened. As I walked out she yelled out, “I love you”. I don’t know if she fully understands what this means yet but hearing your daughter tell you I love you is very lovely. Little tears welled in my eyes and I went back in to tell her I love her again. And I do. So, so much.

One of my fave things about living here in Chulu is the beautiful 30m pool.  Three or four mornings a week I do the ten minute run to the pool, swim 30 laps and then do some stretches.  However about three weeks back I lost my goggles and there doesn’t seem to be anywhere in Chulu or Piura I can buy them so I haven’t been able to go.  I am really missing swimming and I have a very stiff neck and back.  Whenever I don’t do my exercises regularly this happens.  Anyway, mum sent me a pair two weeks back so I am hoping they will be here in the next two although i haven’t had much luck with the post.  In the meantime I think I am going to just have to go and do my best without goggles as I am really sore.

A list of Nina’s current favourite things.

Her books.  Nina has 11 books that she adores which I am very happy about.  She also has a routine around book reading that must be followed.  Firstly, she gets them off the shelf, she has to get them I can’t, and it has to be all 11 of them.  One by one she gets them down from the shelf and makes a neat pile of them on the bed and then she sits down for me to read them.  I am not allowed to hold them though, or turn the pages, that is also her job.  Once she has read a book it goes on another pile of the read books.  She knows some of the words which she loves to say and we have some actions and sounds that go with many of them that she also really likes.  And we cannot stop until they are all read.  This is all very cute and mostly fun but we have been having a few dramas of late if we don’t follow this routine precisely.  For example, if I touch a book or don’t make the right sound or don’t read all 11 of them she gets very, very frustrated.  And reading all 11 every time can get very exhausting as we she wants me to read them to her all the time.  When she wakes up she says books, as soon as she gets home from anywhere she goes to the room to get the books, before her nap and bedtime she wants books.

Food.  Nina loves to eat.  Her fave foods are grapes, followed by any fruit, boiled eggs, rice and popcorn.  It certainly takes the pressure off having her eat so well especially here in Peru where people love babies to eat a lot.  At the moment, she wants to feed herself.  No one can do it for it.  She sits down at the table and when her food is served she says, “chau” to Martin and I and makes us sit far away.  This is a good thing but very very messy.  I feel like I am constantly cleaning clothes, floors, tables etc.  Of late she has decided she doesn’t like it when food drops on her clothes so each time it happens, which is pretty much every mouthful she gets all upset and we have to clean it up straight away.  It can makes meal times a bit of a drama.

Other babies and children Nina is fascinated by other kids especially babies.  Everytime we see one she says “bebe” “bebe”.  She tries really hard to be gentle with the babies but I am not sure gentle is really possible for a almost two year old so.

Going to the river.  She continues to love been outside in general.  She is constatntly saying to us “vamos” which means let’s go.  The river is her favourite place at the moment.  She loves to run around on the sand and kick her legs in the water.  I love it there too so we are there a lot.

Dressing up like a clown  She has this clown nose and hat that she loves us to put on her and Martin talks like a clown.  She thinks it is hillarious and it is.  Here is a picture of her.  She still totally cutes me out.   

Everyone reading this probably know Martin and I have been trying to get some projects off the ground here in Peru. It seems they are now happening.  To be honest we have both discussed feeling totally inadequate at moments and it is always hard to know what difference the things we do makes, if any, but we certainly have been very blessed by them.

A few posts back I mentioned that I had attended a meeting at the hospital with a group of women who are called “promoters of health”.  These women are considered leaders in their communities and they are helping to connect members of their communities to health services.  Voluntarily, they attend different training sessions on various health issues and mostly know who in their towns are malnourished or sick in anyway.  They also know who is pregnant in their community and try to ensure they attend their prenatal care etc.  They are incredible women.

It was decided that these women would talk to the expectant mothers in their communities and if they were interested in meeting with me they’d let me know.  One of the women got back to me and said there were five pregnant women in her town who might be interested so I went and met with these women for the first time about two weeks ago.  They live in a place called “Las Campanas” which is about 10 to 15 minutes out of Chulucanas.  It is a very under resourced community to say the least.  I walked around the town with the promotor of health  visiting these women’s home and she introduced me to them all.

That first visit was pretty brief and rushed so I went back on Monday morning to really chat with them.  For about 3 hours I sat with these different women in their very humble homes and we talked about birth.  I often felt uncomfortable and out of place and not totally sure of myself.  They live in extreme poverty and their struggles are many.  For one woman coming up with just one sol (about 40 cents) to get insurance at the public hospital to give birth has been hard.  I was very aware, as they probably were, of the extremely privileged life I live and wondered how can we possibly connect and what was the point anyway.  But I guess that is a great thing about birth, it is an experience we share and there were a few brief moments when the differences didn’t seem to matter and I felt that we were just two women sharing stories about birth, as women have done and will probably do for all time.  I had to continually to remind them that I am not a medical professional, just an ordinary woman like them, passionate about birth rights and wanting to offer some physical and emotional support.  It was a very special experience for me.

Martin had his first workshops last weekend.  They went really well.  A few little hiccups, things I would find very stressful, but they all dealt with really well.  As Martin said Peruvians are fairly resourceful and coming up with solutions to things not going according to plan.  People commented on how practical they were which was what they had really wanted.  The other engineers involved were really excited to be involved and hoping to keep up the relationships which was another outcome were hoping for.  Like me Martin really loved hearing them all share ideas.  Again he had to deal with the expectation that he was the expert but he really tried to make it clear everyone was there as a student and a teacher.

As of yesterday I am officially no longer a breastfeeding mother.  I was planning to go through to 2 years, which is in general what is recommended, but I have found myself stopping 3 months earlier (Nina will be 21 months in 12 days).  It kind of just came upon us.  We started weaning about three months ago.  Although at that stage I wasn’t calling it weaning I just wanted to cut back a little.  After we got here Nina was feeding a lot.  I understood that would happen and I demand fed for about three months of been here but it was getting exhausting not to mention a bit awkward.  While women in the mountains and jungle are known to breastfeed for years most women in the cities have adopted the more Western habit of weaning at 12 months, if they breastfeed at all.  And in a very macho culture I felt quite exposed and vulnerable pulling my breasts out all the time in public.  So as Nina was now settled I began weaning her from public feeding.  It went very smoothly really.  A few little tantrums in taxis if I didn’t have an alternative to offer her but if I did no dramas.   From there I slowly began to put a bit routine in place for her at home.  Attachment parenting says demand feed but I like routines, all be it flexible if needed.  So we got it down to one when she woke, then morning feed (whenever), before nap, afternoon feed (again whenever) and before bed as well as one overnight.  She then started going to daycare in the morning so that feed went and I stopped offering the afternoon one so it went too.  Occasionally when she did ask I would agree but mostly she was happy to accept some grapes or water instead so we were down to wake up, before nap and bed and overnight.  As Martin and I alternate getting up I then decided to drop the wake up one so I could sleep through on my days.  She didn’t make a sound about it.

We were now down to three and I began to wonder if we should just keep going as we were in the flow.  We were thinking of coming back to Australia at the end of August so I thought it would be better to wean before we left while she was settled.  I couldn’t do it to her after another big move and I really didn’t want to go beyond two years.  Now we are coming back in November but I guess the seed had been planted for me.  I also like the idea of Nina been able to sleep without having to breastfeed.  She doesn’t breastfeed to sleep but it was an essential part of her bedtime routine which meant I had to be there or it was pretty hard for Martin. It gives me a bit more flexibility especially as I am looking at supporting women in birth which can come anytime.  So we decided try stopping the before sleep feeds.  I was expecting it to be a nightmare and was willing to reconsider if it was too hard.  The plan was for a week Martin would put her to bed, following the same routine except she had a glass of milk instead of breast milk.  Again smooth as silk really.  A little bit of whinging on the first day but certainly no real complaining.  So after five days I put her to bed.  She got into position for “teta” and I said milk and offered her the glass instead.  She tentatively accepted.  Now we were down to one.  The night feed.  The feed which I most wanted to stop but knew would be the hardest.  But two days ago we did.  First night was fine.  When she woke up she took water and a bit of singing and was asleep again in less than five minutes.  Second night a bit harder.  Took water but then didn’t want to go back to sleep.  I had to sit by the cot for awhile singing and patting til she finally went down again.

So there we are.  I know everyone will have different opinions on this as they do most things motherhood.  Here in Peru most people I have told are very happy.  I have been told on various occasions by my in laws many of the myths associated with breastfeeding eg it’s no longer that nutritious after one year and that I am over indulging etc etc.  On the other hand a lot of “attachment parenting” people think feeding beyond two years is the best for bonding with baby and raising happy and secure children.  As for me I feel mostly good about the decision.  As with training her to sleep I did it slowly over a three month period with minimal crying.  The fact that Nina has mostly not complained, (in fact hardly seemed to notice some feeds going) and has been able to accept alternatives means that I think she was ready for it.  And I guess the truth is for me while I would like to be one of those mothers who loved breastfeeding and wanted to breastfeed indefinitely I am not. It’s not that I hated it, there were wonderful moments but in general I found it hard work.  Of course I do have moments of guilt and do worry that if she does get sick again and is not breastfeeding it will be a lot harder.  And I do feel a little bit sad.  It was something that only Nina and I shared and there were times of real intimacy and closeness when feeding.  And I will miss that special bond that we shared.  It’s weird too.  I guess this is the final stage in getting my body back after pregnancy and birth.