Today I had a job interview. It is for a volunteer coordinator position at St Vincent de Paul. It started off a little shaky as there was some confusion about the time. I thought 10.30 they thought 11.00. It was awkward but in the end they blamed themselves and I blamed myself so there didn’t seem to be any resentment. The interview part was good. They were all very friendly and I felt pretty relaxed. hey I even made them laugh a couple of times. Anyway when it finished they said they would call me in a week to let me know what happened but then this afternoon they called to ask me to come for a second interview. I am very excited but also a little nervous. I have to do a presentation. Well I have to prepare a training session and then go and do it in front of them. Scary huh. I feel good though. I mean really want the job and it feels so right.

I have been feeling a little bit out of it for the last couple of days. Not quite sure what is up, maybe just a bit tired from the uncertainty of life at the moment. Leaving my job, not being able to find another one, not being able to find a house, not sure what I am stdying this year it is rather exhausting.

On the other hand it is quite exciting. All the possibiltities. I keep driving past this sign outside a church at Gordon. I usually hate those signs that they put outside churches, some so trite and tacky. This one may be too but it seems to be talking to me. It says “God turns our struggles into victory”. Well something like that and when I see it I just know that I just have to keep on waiting.

We got rejected for another house. I am so sad.

Now there have been some comments thrown around that I don’t blog enough and well I want to sort that out. I did that maths, which I am not very good at, but I think this is right, since june I have blogged an average of 4.5 time a month which is just over once a week. Now I know that, that is not like that much but it is really not that bad either.

Well it has not been a bad weekend at all really.

Yesterday I spent most of the day in the Newtown area looking for houses, eating potato stacks,getting lost and being with many lovely people. I started feeling a bit pessimistic sbout the idea of living with 8 people somewhere in the middle there but Jon came to the rescue with some much needed excitment and optism and so we applied for someething and it looks like we may have it. Yay I am so excited about it I could just burst.

In the evening we went to Carlos and Eva ‘sand hung with them. Martin read stories to the kids most of the night but I think that the adults were just as amused. Martin is going to be such a great father. Everytime I get scared about being a mum I remember that he will be the father of my children and my partner in raising them and it seems much less scary.

Today I slept in which I always love. Then we went to mass. Of course there were a couple of things that pissed me off but I don’t want to dwell on that now rather I will think about what was good. What was good was the Lord’s prayer. At that chursh we always sing it rather than say it and it is the most beautiful meloday and reallyt the chir is very good and it touched today in a new way. This prayer I have been saying for as long as I have been speaking all of a sudden became relevant, it made sense and it was beautiful. There was nothing else I wanted to pray then and since then. I mean it hjas only been a couple of hours since then but that’s a fairly long time really.

In the arvo Martin and I watched a movie called Kingdom of Heaven which was fascinaiting and I cooked food for Monday Club. I am now on a roster where every secpnd week I do something more esciting the sandwiches. It is a bit mroe work but some people seem to appreciate so it is worth it it. Martin has gone to Roughies now with Gem and Mum and Keith are seeing a play so I am home alone and I am cherishing every moment. IThis is a rare tiime and I figure when I move in with eight people it will beome even rarer.

Okay I am afraid that Buffy is calling me so I am going to answer. Even though I am a bit disappoineted in Buffy at the moment. It has gotton kind of depressing really but here is hoping it will get better.

I have taken the day off today to try and get my life organised, well enrol in my classes for University and sort out some bank and super stuff and just some general tidy up my messy life. But now although it is only 11.30 and I am going out of my mind. I have made a whole bunch of phone callls and after the geneal crap of you can do this on the web, they pass me on to some one else and then I leave a message and now and now I have to sit and wait for them to call me back. God it is so frustrating but I guess at least I can use the waiting time to blog or watch Buffy or something. I won’t have to fell guilty about it as it’s like I can’t really be doing anything else more productive with my time as I have to just wait.

I know that it is the 9th of January and they may be a little late to comment on 2005 but I am going to anyway as it is my blog and I can do what I want.

So 2005 was the year that

I got married. I thought I would start with the biggest thing.
I enjoyed giving Christmas gifts for the first time ever as almost all of them were gifts that give twice.
I bought a car.
And a lap top
I watched the Sopranos and I think that it is the best series ever.
Started watching Buffy and now I am confused about that last comment.
I passed all my uni courses.
Martin’s mum came to Australia.
I went to the house of Prayer.
I went to Blackstump.
I went to Central Australia.
Spent more time in Tamworth than any other year and really enjoyed getting to know the place and my family better.
I learnt to cook and it wasn’t that bad.
I turned 23.
I caught up with friends that I hadn’t seen since leaving high school.
I got to know friends better and I think my friends are the best in the world.
I was stressed but it got less as the year went on.
Began looking for other work but didn’t find it.
Enjoyed facilitating Monday Club.
Joined a Catholic Church and it wasn’t too bad.
Blogged more than any other year, not that there was much competition.
I loved Martin even more.

Well I wonder what is in store for 2006 and I guess you will just have to keep reading…………

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by how cruel people can be.

But sometimes I also feel overwhelmed by how kind people can be.

I was just reading about what happened on Cronulla Beach yesterday and it makes me so sad and so angry. I don’t think I am going to be able to articulate my feelings about it at all as I am so upset.

And how can John Howard say that his warnings about terrorism have nothing to do with it and how can say he that ethnic gangs are acts of tribalism but what happened on the beach yesterday wasn’t and how can he say that nobody in this country has the right to take the law into their own hands when that is exactly what he has done in the last couple of months. He makes me so angry.

I guess you can add me to the list of people who will be arrested on the new sedition laws.

This prayer is actually Bono’s prayer but I don’t think that he will mind if I make it mine as well. Not that I know Bono that well really but given what I do know about him and the nature of prayer itself I am assuming it will be okay.

Yahweh.

Take these shoes; click clacking down some dead end street,
Take these shoes and make them fit.
Take this shirt: polyester, white trash, painted nowhere
Take this shirt and make it clean.
Take this soul; stranded in some skin and bones,
Take this soul and make it sing.

Yahweh, Yahweh,
Always pain before the child is born.
Yahweh, Yahweh,
Still I’m waiting for the dawn.

Take these hands; teach them what to carry,
Take these hands, don’t make a fist.
Take this mouth; so quick to criticise,
Take this mouth give it a kiss.

Yahweh, Yahweh,
Always pain before the child is born.
Yahweh, Yahweh,
Still I’m waiting for the dawn.
Still wating for the dawn.
The Sun is coming up
Sun is coming up in the ocean.
His love is like a drop in the ocean.
Yahweh, Yahweh,
Always pain before the child is born.
Yahweh, tell me now,
Why the dark before the dawn

Take this city, a city should be shining on a hill
Take this city if it be your will.
What no man can own, no man can take.
Take this heart, take this heart,
take this heart and make it break