I know that it is the 9th of January and they may be a little late to comment on 2005 but I am going to anyway as it is my blog and I can do what I want.

So 2005 was the year that

I got married. I thought I would start with the biggest thing.
I enjoyed giving Christmas gifts for the first time ever as almost all of them were gifts that give twice.
I bought a car.
And a lap top
I watched the Sopranos and I think that it is the best series ever.
Started watching Buffy and now I am confused about that last comment.
I passed all my uni courses.
Martin’s mum came to Australia.
I went to the house of Prayer.
I went to Blackstump.
I went to Central Australia.
Spent more time in Tamworth than any other year and really enjoyed getting to know the place and my family better.
I learnt to cook and it wasn’t that bad.
I turned 23.
I caught up with friends that I hadn’t seen since leaving high school.
I got to know friends better and I think my friends are the best in the world.
I was stressed but it got less as the year went on.
Began looking for other work but didn’t find it.
Enjoyed facilitating Monday Club.
Joined a Catholic Church and it wasn’t too bad.
Blogged more than any other year, not that there was much competition.
I loved Martin even more.

Well I wonder what is in store for 2006 and I guess you will just have to keep reading…………

Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by how cruel people can be.

But sometimes I also feel overwhelmed by how kind people can be.

I was just reading about what happened on Cronulla Beach yesterday and it makes me so sad and so angry. I don’t think I am going to be able to articulate my feelings about it at all as I am so upset.

And how can John Howard say that his warnings about terrorism have nothing to do with it and how can say he that ethnic gangs are acts of tribalism but what happened on the beach yesterday wasn’t and how can he say that nobody in this country has the right to take the law into their own hands when that is exactly what he has done in the last couple of months. He makes me so angry.

I guess you can add me to the list of people who will be arrested on the new sedition laws.

This prayer is actually Bono’s prayer but I don’t think that he will mind if I make it mine as well. Not that I know Bono that well really but given what I do know about him and the nature of prayer itself I am assuming it will be okay.

Yahweh.

Take these shoes; click clacking down some dead end street,
Take these shoes and make them fit.
Take this shirt: polyester, white trash, painted nowhere
Take this shirt and make it clean.
Take this soul; stranded in some skin and bones,
Take this soul and make it sing.

Yahweh, Yahweh,
Always pain before the child is born.
Yahweh, Yahweh,
Still I’m waiting for the dawn.

Take these hands; teach them what to carry,
Take these hands, don’t make a fist.
Take this mouth; so quick to criticise,
Take this mouth give it a kiss.

Yahweh, Yahweh,
Always pain before the child is born.
Yahweh, Yahweh,
Still I’m waiting for the dawn.
Still wating for the dawn.
The Sun is coming up
Sun is coming up in the ocean.
His love is like a drop in the ocean.
Yahweh, Yahweh,
Always pain before the child is born.
Yahweh, tell me now,
Why the dark before the dawn

Take this city, a city should be shining on a hill
Take this city if it be your will.
What no man can own, no man can take.
Take this heart, take this heart,
take this heart and make it break

Here I sit waiting for the U2 tickets to go on sale. I am very nervous that I am not going to get them but oh so excited. U2 rock.

http://www.makepovertyhistory.org

Well maybe that is a little over the top but I am noy happy right now.

I have just spent a day at the Chatswood Skin Cancer Clinic which never makes me feel very excited and thrilled about life and people. God I so have to get out of there it is bad for my soul.

But the reason I am most upset is that I was planning to take Monday CLub to see the Sculptures by the Sea on Monday and Andrew Lorien just told me that they are finishing on Sunday. Can you believe it?

I have finished uni for the year.

It feels so good to know I have three months off.

Well it’s 12.15 at night and I am in bed. I can’t sleep so I thought that I would blog. I have not been sleeping all that well lately which is a little bit stressful but I can sleep in, in the morning so that makes me feel a little less uptight about it. I have Monday Club tommorrow and it doesn’t start til 12.30.

I am actually looking forward to Monday Club tommorrow. It has been so good lately. I took a break for a couple of weeks about a month ago and during that time I realised that Monday Club is good for me. At Monday Clube I am totally unable to control anything. I feel inadequate and lost. So why is this good? Well not only is humbling which I often need but it means that I have to fully depend on God. And since realising that everything has been better. Everyone seems to have finally gotton used to the changes that happened when I began to facilitate it 14 months ago so I no longer feel like I should be someone else. They seem to be enjoying it also and getting something out of it. I guess that’s what happens when God is in control and not me.

My marriage is a bit like that too really. Last night we went to Carlos’ birthday party and about 12.00 in typical Peruvian style the speeches start and everyone got really sentimental. It was nice really. Australians so rarely to do that. Anyway we stumbled across the topic of marriage. I don’t know how as we were supposed to be talking about Carlos turning 40 but we did. Anyway I said a couple of things. I said that marriage has taught me that I am actually not that great a person. I am not the patient, kind, understanding human being that I once thought I was and I am actually not able to control everything all the time. Again that is a good thing to learn as it humbles me but also it has helped me understand a little more about God and his grace. Despite all my crappiness Martin still loves me. He knows me better than anyone and he still wants to be with me. That’s like God, despite everything God still loves me.

I found a really cool quote in one of my readers about doubt and teaching.

Does ddoubt make us ‘better’ teachers? I think now that a safer way to put this is that it might make us braver teachers, more risk taking, more modest in our self conception; that we might admit our own doubtm our own difficulty, uncertainty, and error; that we might take ourselves less seriously, while taking education very seriously indeed. I leave it to you to decide if that is another way of saying better.